Love Is Never Fair ((Elijah)) [Set Mid-February]

((Late...))

Sienna always worked hard to be the ideal Roman. Dedicated, hard-working, brave, all of the values that Rome was built on. There were more, but if Sienna had to make a list ‘dedicated’ was definitely her number one. The girl always kept this in mind, and kept it to heart. She would be the perfect Roman, someday. At the same time, however, Sienna was a daughter of Venus. It wasn’t necessarily that the two contradicted, but Romans were less for love and more for war. Sienna didn’t see too much difference between the two (love and war were both the peaks of human emotion, after all), but she always set aside her romantic tendencies during the day, normally. All's fair in love and war....Sienna strongly disagreed with that statement, neither love nor war ever had an even battleground. But the two went together nicely, even though the Romans tended to disagree...which led to Sienna normally disregarding her love-obsessed side.

Still, there were times in which Sienna liked to forget she was a tough Roman, and she let herself relax and have some fun. While her ideas of fun weren’t as extreme as they used to be, the girl would laugh with friends, do her nails, and anything one would normally stereotype as a “Venus activity.” Was it so bad to indulge herself every now and then? Keeping up with the rumor mill was simply one of these many simple pleasures, and Sienna simply could not ignore one of the hottest topics in recent news.

In all honesty, Sienna could not even vouch for the validity of the rumor. But still, even the idea that Jack and Elijah broke up caught the girl’s attention, considering how close to home it struck. Jack was her brother, her recently discovered half-brother she’d only started to get to know. Elijah was on the other end of the spectrum, someone Sienna could not stand, and the two had had many confrontations with each other, to the point where Sienna had simply started to ignore the son of Discordia. The two boys’ relationship had bothered Sienna to no end, her wonderful brother being together with the annoying and easily angered Discordia boy. So she should be glad that there was even a chance they had broken up, right?

Somehow, Sienna couldn’t bring herself to think that way. A break-up was always something horrible to go through, especially if it had ended on bad terms. Knowing both boys, Sienna could be sure it had been quite a dramatic split, and she could be sure their feelings weren’t completely gone. The girl knew love, and she knew heartbreak. She also knew feelings were forever, even if they weren’t as potent as before. And as much as she hated Elijah, and his relationship with Jack…nobody should have to feel that way. Nobody should ever have to have their heart broken.

Was this why Sienna felt pity for Elijah?

As much as the girl hated to admit it, pity was the feeling that had surfaced in the end, when the girl had sat down to think about the rumor she’d heard. Unfortunately, her first stop had not been to see Jack. He would be sore after the break-up, and dwelling on it would not be best for a child of Venus. He was probably nursing his wounds somewhere…or possibly hitting on any moving thing in Camp Jupiter. For a child of Venus, there was rarely anything in between. Sienna was dramatic, and she could only assume her brother was the same way. No, she’d go to see him after the dust had settled, when the boy could talk about it without getting angry or hysteric.

She couldn’t say anything for Elijah, however. How would the boy react to this? Sienna’s best guess, from what she knew about Lúthien, would be that Elijah was holing himself up in the Principia. Discordia kids seemed to prefer isolation, in places they knew and were comfortable with. Elijah was heartbroken, Sienna could practically feel the pain in her own heart (and she knew what it felt like, and she hated it). The girl didn’t know if she was imagining it or not, but she could practically feel the chaotic condition Elijah’s heart was in at the moment…and her heart went out to him.

It’d been a week since Valentine’s Day, probably the most love-infested day of the year. Sienna wasn’t sure how the boy would feel about that, but she had decided it was a bad idea to visit him on February 14, or any day near it. She had waited, trying to figure out mentally exactly when she had decided visiting the son of Discordia was a good idea. They hated each other, but right now…Sienna felt no hate for him. He was heartbroken, and Sienna was a daughter of Venus. Nobody knew this better than Sienna, and somebody had to be there for the boy. Maybe Jack’s sister wasn’t the best choice…but if not her, who else?

The Principia was not a place Sienna visited often. It was usually to drop by to fulfill her duties as Centurion, or sometimes when she wanted to find Calix. Recently, that had been to discuss wedding matters, something Sienna could hardly stop squealing about. Now, though, she felt like she was heading into unknown territory, as she stared at the wood of what was Elijah’s door to his room. Was the boy even here? Had Sienna been correct in her assumptions? The girl knew love, and she knew heartbreak…she just didn’t know Elijah. But the idea had ingrained itself in her head that she had to try, so Sienna gathered up her confidence and knocked on the door, three sharp knocks.

Pausing a moment, Sienna leaned a little closer to the door. “Elijah?” she called softly through the wood. It was the first time she had addressed the boy praetor by his name, rather than his title, but it hardly ran through her mind at the moment. Her eyes bored into the wood, and she waited. Her mind wasn’t entirely sure she was doing the smart thing, but Sienna had a gut feeling that she should do this. And who was Sienna to deny that?

In almost every way, Elijah was far from quiet.  Chaos hugged his mind tightly, seeped into the cracks in the grey matter of his brain.  He could feel it all the time, and typically, it came out in spoken riddles and nonsense.  There were very few people who could understand his complex swirly chaos mess.  Lúth, the sister who probably felt the same.  Calix, one of Elijah's best friends, who had learned to shut up and take it all in stride.  River, the boy's other best friend, who not only understood his words, but had some odd psychic connection to his brain...daughter of Trivia powers and all.  And Jack, of course.  Jack was always there, deciphering Elijah better than anyone.  Well...he had always been there.  He wasn't any longer.  Quiet had become much more common for the son of Discordia.  He rarely wanted to talk to anyone...River had moved to New York City...she was the one who held the small boy while he cried.  She was the one who made it all better.  Lúth wouldn't deal with tears.  Calix might be there, but with the wedding coming up, there was no way the small boy was going to dump all his problems onto his already jittery best friend.  Sometimes, Elijah tried to use that as a distraction (he was the Best Man, after all), but it never worked.  He had spoken with Calix, and the two had decided that rather than having a huge bachelor party, the two of them would just go out camping.  Best friend time...better than strippers any day.  And of course, there was the speech.  As Best Man, Elijah would be kicking off all the speeches.  It was a tad intimidating, but the small boy was pretty confident his speech would be decent.

But it didn't help much.  Every time Elijah looked at the invitation pinned to his wall or worked on the speech, it was a battle not to cry.  He was happy for Calix and his sister...beyond happy...he was absolutely ecstatic.  But it made him think about Jack.  There had always been some sort of unspoken understanding that they would be together forever.  They'd have a wedding like this.  They'd grow old in each others' arms.  Where had everything gone wrong?  Elijah's angry words, Jack's angry words...the two had barely fought...just a little bit, and mostly over trivial things, like any healthy couple did.  They had never faced a fight of that intensity.  Elijah figured it was what they had known might happen...from the beginning, they knew there was a chance they would never work out.  But that didn't really make it all any easier for the boy.  And his actions after the fight made things worse.  If there was any hope left for him and Jack, the small boy figured it would be moot when Jack found out what he had done.  How could anyone love someone like Elijah?  He was mean and volatile and dangerous.

He wasn't dangerous anymore, though.  If he wasn't silently doing paperwork in the main room of the Principia, he was in his room.  Sometimes he would be writing or reading at his desk.  Elijah was typically pretty obsessive about keeping his room ridiculously tidy.  He didn't have the energy to clean it all up.  He just didn't care.  It wasn't like anyone else was coming in.  Around the desk were crumpled sheets of paper with half written speeches.  There was clothing strewn all over the floor.  Venus hadn't fixed his clothes back to their normal size.  Elijah prayed for that every chance he god.  "Venus, I don't have to show off for Jack anymore.  Please fix my clothes," he figured it was fruitless.  Why would Venus listen to him anymore?  The boy figured that since he was no longer dating her son, she had no need to concern herself with an inconsequential son of Discordia.  Maybe he could ask River to get him some normal sized jeans and send them to camp.  With Jack, Elijah had come to be okay with the tight jeans.  His (ex?) boyfriend liked seeing the smaller boy in them and that made Elijah feel good...at first he was terribly self-conscious, but the son of Venus brought up the side of someone being attracted to Elijah.  All 5'1", 98 pounds of him.  Now the small boy just felt miserable and, again, self-conscious in them.  There was only one thing over large, just like Elijah liked it.  The warm, soft, blue zip up hoodie that Elijah had been "borrowing" from Jack.

That had always been the joke, anyway.  Now Elijah knew that he actually had to return it, as much as he didn't want to.  Glancing over from the desk where a blank sheet of paper was in front of him, the boy sighed sadly.  The hoodie still smelled like Jack.  It had been neatly tucked into a drawer, but after Jespice left, Elijah had pulled it out.  He buried his face in the soft fabric, smelling Jack and whispering over and over, "I never meant to hurt you, Jack...I love you so much..." words in vain.  Yes, Elijah hated himself for what he had said and done, but he still loved Jack.  And he would never get to say that to the older boy again.  "Vale...vale...vale..." a word that had so many implications.  Elijah made it into a mantra.  After sobbing into the hoodie, Elijah had tied it around his pillow.  It was probably wrong to do so, and it just made things worse...but Elijah deserved the worst for what he had done.  Looking back to the paper on his desk, the boy just stared for a moment.  Before he heard someone knocking.  The boy sat straight up.  No one knocked on his door...everyone important just sort of barged in.  When he heard the voice through the wood of the door, Elijah was even more in shock.  There was no way that was Sienna.  But it was.  "Sienna?" he asked, respecting her choice of informal greeting.  The son of Discordia knew deep down that this was a personal call, nothing to do with the Legion.  Cautiously, Elijah got up, slowly opening the door.  "You're the last person I was expecting to see," the boy said with a warm half-smile.  The boy was suddenly hyper-aware of things.  He was ridiculously sleep deprived...probably losing weight from eating so little...his makeup probably looked terrible.  "I take it you're not here for official business," Elijah gave a weary chuckle before his shoulders sank.  So much for trying.

Sienna stared at the wood of Elijah’s door, an uncomfortable feeling starting to settle in her chest. The girl wasn’t having second thoughts of seeking out Elijah, she hadn’t gotten to that point yet. She still stood resolute in her point that people shouldn’t be alone while going through breakups and Elijah was no different. He could be a child of Discordia, he could dislike Sienna, he could be anything but Sienna felt an obligatory need to check on him. She’d treated him unfairly in the past, judging him quickly based on one decision and stubbornly sticking to that opinion. She’d avoided him, and disliked his (now ex) relationship with her brother. And while it wasn’t all her fault, this bad blood between the two, Sienna felt it had gone on long enough and she was tired of it. Maybe she didn’t like the young praetor, but maybe that could change. Maybe this breakup could be an awakening for her.

So no second thoughts. Her heart felt like it was clenching in on itself, and Sienna could almost feel the discomfort and unhappiness in the next room. She credited it to Elijah’s radiating, although she hadn’t had the urge to smack something yet. Continuing to stare at the door, Sienna wondered if she’d misjudged her welcome here. Elijah could be out (maybe he was the kind to bury himself in his work), or he could be ignoring whoever was at the door (he couldn’t know it was her, right?). Most people were resolute in being alone and listening to sad music after a breakup, and while Sienna was sure Elijah wasn’t interested in the latter, she knew the boy could be very isolationist, and he was more the type to demand to be alone. Maybe she should just open the door, walk in, and see what happens.

Thankfully, no need for that. After her call through the door, she could faintly hear Elijah’s call back. The surprise and shock in his voice was enough to confirm Sienna’s suspicions that she was hardly the person he expected showing up at his front door. Maybe he wanted Calix, or Lúth. Those two were certainly more viable options than your (ex?) boyfriend’s sister whom you had a strained relationship with. And yet, here she was. As the door opened slowly, Sienna locked eyes with Elijah for a moment, and she blinked in shock at his appearance as she took him in, and the room she could see through the open door. The boy looked exhausted, and disheveled, like he’d been in bed all day and had done his makeup with his eyes closed. Giving a small smile in return at Elijah’s comment, Sienna nodded. “Surprise?”

Keeping it light, if such a thing was possible with a son of Discordia, was all Sienna was aiming for at first. She didn’t expect Elijah to be at his normal standards, and so she’d been hoping he’d be a little more willing to talk. Godly parentage and relations aside. The girl shot him a pitying look as Elijah gave an attempt for humor, before he seemed to give up. “That would be correct,” Sienna prompted, taking up the conversation anyway, humoring the boy.

Elijah was doing as badly as Sienna had suspected, and it was hard to remember her hatred for the boy while viewing the pathetic sight in front of her. Messy boy, messy room. Elijah looked beaten, as if a high-risk reward had been snatched out of his reach and left him with a depressed state of mind. Looking at him, Sienna was more than determined to reach out to the boy, assess the situation and make adjustments from there. Part of the girl, however, was guilty for not checking on Jack first. He was her half-brother, someone she’d only started talking and getting close to recently. She should be with him, right? Checking on him and making sure he was going through his day, cheering him up, just being with him. And yet, here she was. With her least favorite person in Camp Jupiter, who also happened to be the guy her brother was in a relationship with. Jack was in the wind right now. Sienna, knowing he’d react similar to her after a breakup, would be sulking or out doing risky things. She couldn’t get in the middle of that now. But here was Elijah in front of her, someone she could do her best to help.

“Elijah…” Sienna repeated again, her voice trailing off as she continued to take in the broken boy in front of her. She probably needed to supply a reason for her being here, but the right words weren’t coming. She felt the need to be delicate around him, as if he might break again at any second. “Why don’t we talk for a bit?” Sienna probed. “I’ll leave Centurion Linslee at the door, and we can talk as Sienna and Elijah.” This felt uncomfortable for her now, being the first to lay down her terms and see how Elijah would take them. Leaving behind her rank and what made her Roman, and bringing in what made her human. Putting aside all her feelings about the boy, her Venus side (and personality) was prompting her to check up on the boy, and do what she could to alleviate his heartbreak, if only for a second. Didn’t she owe this to him, for all the mistreatment she’d given him over the course of their knowing each other?

The hurt was too bad to deal with.  Everyday, Elijah was sure he couldn't do it...he couldn't wake up, he couldn't pile enough clothing on to be warm.  He couldn't keep doing this, whatever it was, without Jack.  Glancing to the other side of the room, the boy frowned again.  Things were sort of looking like a crime scene these days, with the blood smears all over the walls.  The small boy knew he'd have to paint over all that...after he finished punching walls regularly.  The walls were feeling the brunt of Elijah's punching skills.  Of course, so were his knuckles...raw and ripped and bloody...the boy had given up trying to take care of them after totally realizing that it didn't matter if he continued to do it.  Crime scene walls to add to the trashed look of Elijah's room.  The boy couldn't win anymore.  He knew that.  "Vitae Saturnalia agunt vertirur in," the boy muttered, halfheartedly picking up some papers from around his desk.  Maybe it was time to at least try.  Elijah didn't want to, though...and he wouldn't even know how to.  Saying goodbye, he supposed.  The mere idea broke the small boy all over again.  But he couldn't wallow in it all forever.  That was a really terrible thought.  Sooner or later, the boy would have to let go.  He'd have to move on and just be the type of person who learned from his mistakes.  And there were definitely a lot of mistakes to learn from.  Elijah, whenever he found that special someone, would have a much better idea of how to work it all.  Pouting slightly, the boy sighed.  He didn't want to move on or learn from his mistakes or say goodbye.  He just wanted to be back with Jack.

The way Elijah saw it, Jack was the best thing that had ever happened to him.  Jack was the first person to show Elijah that he wasn't doomed to a life without romance.  That he was lovable and capable of love.  All of it, all that Jack had shown him and taught him.  He had been trying to convince himself that this was all the normal post-breakup stuff, but if Elijah was anything, it was ridiculously stubborn...even when it came to his inner thoughts.  Pitting Elijah against Elijah was no good, especially at this point where Elijah (and all inner Elijah variations) hated himself.  He needed to find a way to get over that one as well.  And a part of that was being smart...but also being vulnerable.  Sienna outside his door meant being vulnerable but also accepting the help that someone was trying to give...no matter how odd it was.  And for so many reasons...not only was she Elijah's ex-boyfriend's sister, she had so many issues with Elijah that the boy had lost track of them all.  The two hadn't gotten along from almost the moment Sienna had stepped into Camp Jupiter 2.0 and the boy had figured it was always going to be like that.  But she was reaching out...reaching out when the small boy needed it the most.  And he wasn't going to just throw that out because of a grudge.  Maybe his brains were too scrambled.  And maybe Elijah wasn't as stubborn as he figured.

"Surprise, yeah," the boy admitted honestly.  Out of all the people who could have showed up at his door..."But a nice one.  People have mostly been staying away," Elijah said, slightly defeated.  He saw Calix and Lúth plenty, but that was because Calix was his best friend and Lúth was his sister.  That was important stuff.  River had moved to New York City and the two were writing letters, but letters were slow and his other best friend wasn't there.  And this was one of those times where Elijah needed the daughter of Trivia there.  But it wasn't like she could just hop in a cab and be there with the son of Discordia...as much as he needed River, he had to struggle through all of this without.  For a moment, the boy's mind drifted to the day he had first met Jack...River finding him curled up on his old bed in the Third Cohort barrack.  All the odd moments in between.  River wasn't there...and Elijah had to allow other people in...even if it was only this one time.  Sienna speaking his name brought Elijah back to the present.  He focused in on the daughter of Venus, completely unsure of how to act.  He wanted to make sure she knew her actions were appreciated...but the boy didn't really know how to show that.  Or say it...for a verbal communicator, words had been difficult for Elijah lately.

As Sienna continued to talk, Elijah gave a weary smile.  He nodded as she suggested talking.  "Yes," he said softly.  "That would be nice," this was a good thing, no matter how odd it was.  The boy really appreciated that Sienna had some good means of control over everything right now, even if Elijah was falling apart at the seams in general.  And really, who was he to deny the help?  Opening his bedroom door so Sienna could come in, the boy took a moment to glance around.  Everything was a mess, but it was a little too late to clean up for company now.  Pushing his door shut after Sienna, the boy dragged himself to his bed, sitting on the floor against it.  It was actually a comfortable spot.  "Sienna and Elijah...yes, I would appreciate that," another wary smile.  He could imagine the girl was judging it all...even if she didn't mean to.  Elijah looked terrible...his room looked terrible...maybe that extra mile of trying wasn't reachable at the moment, but the boy couldn't just sit around anymore.  "Sorry about the...blood on the wall," the small boy motioned weakly.  "I've been punching them...my knuckles don't like it.  Or maybe the walls have just started to bleed," he tacked on the last sentence dryly.  Hopefully Sienna would get the idea to sit too...talking did sound nice.

Sienna, though thankful that Elijah hadn’t slammed the door in her face, hadn’t expected to make it this far. The two had serious issues, not so easily resolved, and Sienna had been avoiding the praetor from day one. The girl didn’t face her problem with Elijah, and she could only watch as it exponentially grew until it was at a proportion where it would take a miracle to initiate any contact between the two. And all this avoidance, all this hatred…it really showed Sienna that she didn’t know Elijah at all. The girl supposed it was to be expected, considering Sienna had only had small conversations with the boy every now and then, and all of those were professional. She knew about his complex system for paperwork, she knew about his attitude towards legionnaires (for the most part), and she knew his inclination to certain decisions when it came to the maintenance of Camp Jupiter.

But that wasn’t all there was to a person, and Sienna was finding her sore lacking of knowledge on Elijah as a terrible obstacle when it came to actually talking to him. The boy was hardly normal, whatever that meant, and his similarities to Lúthien didn’t mean much when the daughter of Discordia was willing to talk to Sienna and the son wasn’t. Except now, he was, and so Sienna was going to have to do her best, be sincere, try not to step on his toes, and do her best to figure out what exactly was wrong and what she could do to make it better. Not impossible at all. Sienna leaned against the doorframe, in time to hear Elijah begin speaking again, first his little side comment and then the rest to Sienna. “If it’s a carnival, you should start charging people,” Sienna agreed, giving Elijah a crooked smile. If there was one thing Sienna could relate to Elijah with, it was that. Being a demigod in general was messy, but Sienna was starting to feel like she was cursed. Her life was one bad event after another, and it always ended with her losing people important to her. After all that, she’d come to the conclusion that the gods noticed their children’s suffering and didn’t help, fate was absolutely terrible to demigods, and any form of change was to be condemned.

Perhaps Elijah was having similar thoughts to this, but Sienna couldn’t guess. The boy was unpredictable, and the only way Sienna could communicate with him at this point appeared to be genuine concern dressed up in a layer of dry humor. Whether it was time to shed that layer, Sienna could only hope. Gazing into Elijah’s exhausted face again, Sienna let the smile drop. “People know you need your space,” she softly commented, “but I’m sure you’ll get plenty of attention soon.” Although you seem like the last person to want all eyes on himself. The last part of the sentence was finished in Sienna’s mind, for she felt it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to say out loud. Especially at this precarious moment where Elijah was putting his façade on to look presentable, but a façade that was cracking nonetheless.

The door was opened fully, and Elijah’s figure retreated into the room, allowing Sienna to take in the full picture. Walking in slowly, Sienna’s eyes took in the whole of the praetor’s room, before sweeping across it and stopping at the bloody walls. Giving a slow inhale, Sienna turned her attention back on the boy, who had sunk to the floor. The girl settled herself to sit across from Elijah, and her eyes flickered to his bloody knuckles. “It’s how you take out your anger.” Obvious statement aside, Sienna had to say something. This was a big step for Elijah, and for her too. They were talking now, this was the first time they’d both been willing to patch up the rocky relationship between them. At what cost…well, that was to be decided through the next couple of months. “Maybe you should consider taking it out in the arena. Put all the negative energy to a positive use,” Sienna prompted, folding her hands across her lap. Her eyes went down, and landed on her tightly clenched hands. “It’s where I go,” she admitted. “We could train together.”

At the moment, Sienna wasn’t entirely sure what she was talking about. Punching walls to punching dummies…it wasn’t exactly what she’d come here for, but she needed to talk to Elijah. What he was comfortable with, she didn’t know, but she didn’t want to open with deep conversations about Elijah’s broken heart. And maybe establishing a personal connection (if you could call it that) was a good way to start. Considering how little she knew about the boy praetor, it was all Sienna could really think of doing. Calix or Lúthien would have known better how to treat Elijah, and Sienna knew her methods were hardly applicable to the boy, considering their stark difference in personalities. But she was here, and she was trying, and she wanted to fix all the bad blood between her and Elijah.

For a moment, Elijah tried to think about what he was doing.  Sienna was not the person he wanted to be seeing right now.  Especially when the boy was clearly at his worst.  If it was (nearly) anyone else, the small boy would have slammed the door in their face.  Although he and Sienna had never had much luck with their relationship, Elijah figured she was more likely to get what was going on than anyone else.  She was a daughter of Venus...Jack's sister.  And who better to address matters of the heart than a child of Venus?  It wasn't like they really knew each other in the first place.  Maybe the two had some sort of connection they had yet to find.  Of course, it was also possible that Sienna saw the son of Discordia looking like this and was just thinking of him as a pathetic failure...though it could always been worse.  Even with everything going on, the boy did most of his Praetor duties...he tended to avoid Musters so he didn't have to see Jack, but otherwise, Elijah did a fine job keeping up with things.  In fact, sometimes the work was the only thing that kept the boy's head above water.  It gave him something to concentrate on that wasn't his floundering romance.  Because as far as Elijah could see, it was a floundering romance until he didn't love Jack any longer.  While he was still in love, there had to be some sort of hope.  Maybe that only happened in the movies, though.

Maybe it was pointless to have hope when it came to Jack.  But maybe it wasn't about that anymore.  Elijah knew he'd have to come to terms with it all, but people were reaching out.  Even if River was far off in the city, the boy had to deal with who he had.  Of course, that was sort of just Calix and Lúth, and neither were the type to hold Elijah as he cried...the small boy was sure either would listen to him cry, but it was different.  As much as the boy didn't like to think of it like this, bad times called for being a bit needy and needing some sort of physical touch.  The boy thought of the day he and Jack had met...how River had found him and let him sob in her arms.  Things had apparently come full circle.  At Sienna's comment about the carnival, Elijah gave a watery smile.  He often forgot who around camp spoke Latin and who didn't.  "I'm pretty sure most people would end up demanding their money back," the boy felt himself attempting humor.  To him, it didn't sound funny, though.  He doubted it sounded funny to Sienna, either.  It was quite obvious that Elijah was far from humorous at this point.  He was pretty far from anything, really.  But...that had to be why the daughter of Venus was there.  Lending a hand when the small boy needed it.  A surprise, but...a pleasant one, nonetheless.

Had Sienna gone to see Jack yet?  Elijah knew the siblings barely knew each other, though they were already had a better relationship than Elijah had with Sienna.  Not that that was something difficult or anything.  Though the small boy was willing to try at this point...anything that could possibly make him feel better.  Make him feel human again.  That was what Elijah wanted more than anything.  Whatever he was at the moment...it wasn't anything productive or normal.  He was a lot of nothing.  "People know that for now," the boy said dejectedly.  It wasn't what he wanted...people getting into his business and all, but he was a Praetor, and he and Jack had been a pretty known couple.  Not to mention camp was pretty nasty when it came to rumors.  Campers were still teenagers in some ways, and word got around quickly enough.  Elijah happened to be in the spotlight often enough...he wasn't the type of person to feed into rumors, which sort of just made it worse.  The small boy wondered if he and Jack had been a "power couple"...a Praetor and Centurion...he had heard the term at school...class presidents or lead in the dramas dating.  Did that even count when it came to camp positions?  The boy had no idea...but it was just more distractions.  "The last thing I need is attention with all this," the boy sad sadly as he came out of his reverie.

Elijah watched silently as Sienna sat down across from him.  He wasn't entirely sure what came next, and he didn't really have the energy to lead the conversation.  Luckily, it seemed like Sienna was willing to do so.  "I'm not sure it's entirely anger," Elijah admitted softly.  Sure, anger was a part of it, but there was much more to it than anger.  Things that the boy had done that he wasn't ready to talk about.  "It's not exactly the sort of thing I can take out on a straw dummy.  I don't want to spar and lose my grasp on everything.  My grasp is pretty weak to begin with right now," the boy said softly, clenching and unclenching his fists.  He felt his knuckles splitting open again...they did that most of the time now with all the wall punching.  Every time Elijah flexed his hands, the raw skin would split again.  It wasn't nice in any way...and quite painful oftentimes, but the son of Discordia figured it was just one of those consequences to his actions.  The small boy was seeing those more and more every day.  Jack had made everything better...Jack made the small boy feel like a person.  Taught him that he was capable of being loved.  That there was so much more to life than Elijah had ever known before.  And now he was gone.  And the small boy had messed things up.  For good.

"I'm trying to steer clear of facing anyone in the arena," Elijah looked down, not entirely sure how to explain it all.  "Anger is my default...and I don't want to hurt anyone.  Not saying you couldn't face me..." hopefully that wasn't how it sounded.  Elijah drew circles on the ground with his finger, not sure how that went.  "Thank you for offering, though.  I do need to find a way to..." so much the boy didn't want to admit to...couldn't admit to...couldn't ask.  There weren't exactly a ton of people Elijah could go to and trusted.  Maybe this was a sign...let Sienna in.  It might make a difference...but the boy knew it had to be slow going or else they wouldn't get anywhere.  Hopefully this was one part of the past they weren't doomed to repeat.

Sitting on the floor in front of Elijah, all Sienna did for a short while was examine him, try to figure out what he was really feeling. Elijah was a very secretive person, and from what she knew the boy hardly ever confessed his true feelings. Maybe he did to the people close to him, but Sienna had never had that privilege before. She’d never had total access to his mind, and so she gleaned what she could and put it all together. Like a puzzle. Exactly like a puzzle, for that is the word the girl would use to describe the more mysterious of the two praetors. Elijah was unknown territory, he was a type of person Sienna had had little interaction with. And that was changing now, and Sienna wanted to help.

So the girl decided not to cheat using the instinctual knowledge she had on love, and the girl decided to put the puzzle together and eventually put Elijah back together. This meant treating the boy carefully (but not delicately), and using a different standard than she used for most people. Don’t look for faults, don’t judge. Just pure honesty…something the girl rarely allowed herself to feel, for it was when a person was most honest that they were most vulnerable. And Sienna had learned her lesson there.

The girl rested her chin on her hand as she listened to Elijah speak, and she watched him carefully. It was moments like these she wished she had a pendant like Jack’s, for she could hardly tell how the boy was feeling. “Anger is your default,” Sienna repeated softly, ingraining the sentence into her memory. That was a place to start, a good foundation when considering the palette of Elijah’s emotions. The girl wondered exactly how angry Elijah was all the time, but now she wanted to focus on Elijah’s heartbreak. “Are you angry at Jack?” Sienna asked, keeping her voice the same soft volume she’d been keeping it at. Sienna hardly knew the details of their break-up, she didn’t know what had transpired between the two. She didn’t know what the argument was, how they felt, or who had initiated the break-up. The girl was attempting to piece the information together, and she wanted to know. When it came to her brother, Sienna was curious.

“Do you blame Jack for the break-up?” Sienna probed, her voice more solid now. She kept her eyes directed on Elijah, searching for hints of emotion or reactions. Sienna wanted to know the truth, she wanted to see things from a different perspective. Although the girl hadn’t seen her brother in a while, and she hadn’t talked to him much, she knew they thought very similarly. And she knew what her brother would think if he had initiated the separation, and she knew that that was most likely not the case as Jack was sulking and keeping a low profile. But she had to know, she had to know what Elijah thought. How he saw things, what he was feeling. Her curiosity had been inflamed, and Sienna wanted to help. She really did.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she was so eager to understand Elijah. When she’d first come to camp, and had her first run-in with Elijah, she’d had no desire to ever see the praetor again. They’d run into each other a few times since then, most of the meetings ending badly. Talking with Jack had been an interesting experience, and that had started her curiosity. But where did the eagerness come from? Was it simply because Sienna couldn’t resist matters of the heart, regardless of who it was? The girl felt starved for love, at times…and she wasn’t sure what the case was there. Whether she wasn’t getting enough, or whether she wasn’t getting the kind she wanted. Regardless…now Sienna wanted to get involved, wanted to know. If she couldn’t have that love, perhaps she’d assist her brother in retaining it.

“Do you still love him?” Sienna said the question out-loud that she’d been thinking. A separation didn’t always equate with a break-up, and one of the many skills of a child of Venus was knowing how to gain love (back, sometimes). Maybe their relationship wasn’t doomed…although Sienna wasn’t entirely sure. She didn’t know enough to make that assumption, and she wasn’t sure if that was what she particularly wanted. She’d always been indisposed towards their relationship, and she hadn’t liked the idea of her brother together with the boy praetor. Comforting and talking to Elijah was one thing, but wanting them together…that was an idea Sienna wasn’t ready to commit to, maybe at all. But she wouldn’t tell Elijah that, and she’d dissect his feelings instead. If, perhaps, someday that was how she felt…so be it. Until then, Sienna couldn’t make any promises, and until then Sienna would simply treat the symptoms, and not the cause.

It was very difficult to believe that Sienna was sitting with Elijah, cross legged on the floor across from him.  They didn't have that sort of relationship...quite frankly, the boy had always thought they didn't have a relationship at all.  Well, they had always disliked each other, but the small boy had always had some sort of respect for the Centurion.  He had told her that before, but Elijah was pretty sure that didn't extend to personal things.  But it was nice, in a way.  This way, in this situation, Sienna and Elijah were just being human with each other.  The girl was a daughter of Venus, after all.  She would get these things.  And she was Jack's sister.  The boy figured she had every right to be here.  Puzzle pieces that shouldn't fit, but did.  And the boy didn't want it this way...didn't want it to come to this...but he and Jack wouldn't get back together.  The son of Discordia just had to come to terms with that.  Maybe Sienna was the one to help him do all that.  It didn't seem likely...but then again, nothing seemed likely at the moment.  Maybe that was why the boy had let the older girl into his room so welcomingly.  She provided some sort of hope...something Elijah could hold on to.  Maybe not a friend, but...an advisor.  Or a friend and an advisor.  Or just someone who understood love on a different level than others.

But there was still a lot to be explained.  The "break-up" (words that had never been said out loud) had left a lot of questions and hurt in its wake...at least from Elijah's side.  He wasn't entirely sure how to handle this...any of this.  "Anger is my default," the boy echoed softly, averting his gaze to the floor.  He was pretty ashamed to admit to something like that.  It made him sound like a really terrible person, dangerous even.  And truly, the boy was dangerous...but he wasn't dumb enough to attack unless provoked.  People could say anything they'd like about about the Praetor, and he didn't especially care.  The mortal world had been like that- a giant rumor mill.  Elijah liked to think legionnaires were a bit more mature, but they weren't always so.  The Legion could be like a smaller type of high school at times.  "I don't think that makes me a bad person," Elijah finally added to supplement the anger thing.  "Just...more dangerous to cross," he didn't want to add all this...and given how bad he looked, he probably didn't have to, but the boy felt this was stuff Sienna should know.  Unless she knew it already...then it was just...reiterating the point.

It all made Elijah's head spin.  Again, he had to center himself and process that Sienna was in his room with him.  His typically meticulously kept room gone to crap.  Paper and clothes strewn about, blood on the walls...if it all wasn't such a dire situation, the boy wouldn't let anyone in.  And the small boy was pretty sure he looked terrible as well.  Deep, dark bags under his eyes, makeup done with little care.  This wasn't Elijah.  This was someone invading Elijah's body to make sure the basics got done and nothing else.  An Elijah that just didn't care.  "I'm not angry at Jack," the boy said softly.  How was he supposed to explain all that?  The small boy didn't want to go into the details of that day...not right now.  Maybe not ever, if he got his way.  But how to explain everything without explaining what happened.  What Elijah had done shortly after what happened.  How he didn't blame Jack at all, because it wasn't Jack's fault...it was Elijah's fault.  It was all his fault...maybe that was just what he had to say.

"I'm not angry at Jack...I'm angry at myself," this was starting to make it hurt worse.  Why was Elijah opening up to Sienna, anyway?  Was that a Venus thing?  He had friends here...actual friends, not semi-enemies reaching out.  But maybe that was it in general.  Calix had made it clear he was there for his best friend...even Lúth had reached out in her odd way.  But River was gone from camp...in the city.  And she had always been the one Elijah went to when he needed to cry and be held.  What did it matter anyway?  The small boy was completely exhausted, physically, mentally, emotionally...he was pretty much willing to do anything in hopes it helped.  Including letting in someone who he would never think to let in.  Elijah had to be strong...although he didn't feel like he had that sort of strength at the moment.  Quite frankly, he didn't have anything.  Just bloody, ripped up knuckles...the fact that as bad as he wanted to forget everything, he couldn't let it go.  He couldn't let his anger go.

Elijah didn't want to keep going.  He was dizzy, and thinking about all of this made him hurt.  Made his heart ache.  Was that the first part of healing?  "No, no..." the boy mumbled.  "I can't blame him...it was entirely my fault..." that was how it felt, anyway.  Elijah had no idea how Jack felt about it all.  Maybe Sienna knew...maybe...well, the small boy wasn't sure who else Jack would go to, but maybe there was someone out there that the older boy had gone to to talk about all this.  As angry and scared and hurt as the Praetor was, he hated the idea of Jack holding all this in to himself.  It wasn't fair.  And then Sienna asked the question that...well, the question that Elijah had been expecting from the beginning.  And even though he knew it would come up sooner or later, it was like a giant gong had been hit in the small boy's head.  It made it feel like everything was vibrating and ringing and hurting.  But Elijah had to answer it.  He owed it to Sienna to be honest...he owed it to himself to be honest.  The words were there...they haunted the boy all the time, but he had always refused to actually speak them.  It made it all real.  "I still love him," Elijah said, barely above a whisper.  "So much it hurts...and there's not a single thing I can do about it."

Sienna carefully watched Elijah as he seemingly processed the whole situation. She couldn’t blame him for his disbelief at her presence; the girl was surprised as well. This sort-of reaching out to Elijah, considering all their past conflicted history together was unnatural, and Sienna had expected the boy to just kick her out. It would’ve been easier for him, because Sienna knew the children of Discordia’s personality type. They didn’t like revealing themselves to others, and they didn’t like talking about their feelings. It just wasn’t in their blood, the same way Sienna herself had habits she’d picked up from her mother she was sure Elijah didn’t understand either. Considering this was a very exposed meeting, with all professional façades gone, it put Elijah in a vulnerable position. One that he had elected to be in, which meant he was really hurting.

The whole breakup itself was very messy. Granted, Sienna didn’t understand the full extent of it, nor did she understand exactly what had happened between the two boys. She was just viewing the aftermath, the gruesome aftermath. Elijah represented that very well. His disheveled, unkempt state, mirroring that of his room represented the whole thing very well. It represented the parts of his personality, the parts of Discordia in him, the part that Sienna resented. Chaos was reigning free around Elijah right now, and Sienna had to reel him in. The question was if she was up for it…and she didn’t know that answer yet. Elijah’s first few statements only confirmed that, only confirmed that Elijah really could be dangerous in a situation like this. Something in Sienna told her that he wasn’t now, that he wouldn’t be…but he could be, and that unpredictability was just the problem.

She put it out of her mind for the moment. This…meeting, for lack of a better word was not about Sienna and Elijah’s professional problems, or about their differences. Rather, it was about their similarities, the one thing they both had in common. This was about Jack, and about Elijah and Jack. And somehow, hearing Elijah say he wasn’t angry at Jack made Sienna feel a little bit better. She didn’t know her brother well at all, she barely knew of him in general. Even so, during their short meeting Sienna had really come to understand how Jack worked and she had come to understand how similar the two are. Elijah not being angry at Jack gave her hope that maybe their feud wouldn’t last forever, and that someday they could settle their differences.

“You’re angry at yourself…why?” Sienna’s eyes, which had been glossing over the room, locked back onto Elijah’s and she stared right at him. She couldn’t make sense of the whole thing, she couldn’t put the pieces together. She couldn’t understand what had started all this…what had made her brother go off-the-grid and what had turned Elijah into this mess. Although Elijah was saying everything was his fault, Sienna couldn’t quite vouch for that. Elijah was a son of chaos, but Jack was a son of love. And Venus kids were incredibly unpredictable in relationships, and they just didn’t do well settling down. They could never quite manage restricting all of their love for one person. This idea had cemented itself in Sienna’s head, that when something went wrong in a child of Venus’ relationship it was usually their fault. Surely it was the same thing here, right?

Only one way to know. “Was Jack cheating? Did you catch him?” Sienna prompted, continuing to stare Elijah down. Her hands had moved to clench together, and her back straightened subconsciously. “Do you blame yourself for not knowing? For not being good enough, and so making Jack’s attention wander?” Although she hadn’t gotten confirmation, Sienna was fixated on the idea and it had stuck in her mind. The girl was incredibly perceptive when it came to love and relationships, most of the time. When it came to things close to her, the girl fell back upon things she knew. She might be a daughter of love, but she was only human (half-human, anyway). And this was what she knew. It was always her fault, it was always the Venus’ kid’s fault. That’s why their relationships never worked out. It’s why hers never did.

“It’s hard to let people go.” That was how Sienna responded as she watched Elijah speak and silently break down. That was the cold hard truth when it came to human relationships. When one formed an attachment, it wasn’t so easy to break. And even when they had moved on, that bond was never completely gone. A small piece always remained, and always would. “But you can, you can do something about it,” Sienna continued, unclenching her hands and letting them sit on her knees. “You feel weak right now, and you need to feel powerful…you need to gain control back in your life, if you can’t in your relationship.” There was no cure or solution to heartbreak, there was no one way to fix everything. Everyone is different, and so are their hearts. The key to control, Sienna believed, was in one’s heart, and mastering it. When people let their emotions run free…those were the passionate moments, but also the ones in which everything went wrong and order was lost. There needed to be a balance…that balance was the main reason Sienna never let herself get caught up in her emotions. That could be dangerous.

It was this balance between order and chaos, between the heart and the mind, that was the key to a healthy love and so the key for a healthy relationship. Elijah was wildly out of control right now, and Sienna needed to help him get it back. A daunting task, but one Sienna was willing to go through. If it was indeed the Venus’ kid’s fault (as she always believed), there had to be something she could do to atone. Perhaps Elijah could help her, the way she wanted to help him. He could give her peace of mind that she could do something right…if she handled him right.

At this point, Elijah was feeling far removed from a situation that he was in the middle of.  As much as he appreciated Sienna reaching out to him, the small boy didn't know how much longer he could keep this up.  His head was starting to spin, just from talking about it.  And the daughter of Venus kept asking questions...the boy knew it was just a way of getting a feel what was going on and how to help, but he was getting sick of the questions.  It made Elijah feel a bit queasy, and he wanted to make it easy for Sienna to help...but maybe the boy was beyond help right now.  Or maybe it was just trying too hard with Sienna.  Although the boy really was grateful that she was trying, he wasn't entirely sure that was how things work.  The two's dislike of each other had some deep roots.  Maybe it wasn't worth trying to change things.  At least, not in a time when emotions are so high stakes.  The son of Discordia was all for making amends with Sienna, but this probably wasn't the best time.  As time ticked by, Elijah was feeling more and more frustrated, not wanting to answer any more of the questions that the older girl kept throwing at him.  It was irritating the boy, and he knew that if he snapped, the two wouldn't have a chance at fixing things.  But the small boy was ready to snap...he just had to politely get the girl out of his room.

Right now, Elijah just had to bite his tongue.  He really didn't want to make things worse between Sienna and himself.  But controlling his emotions wasn't always easy, especially since it had to do with Jack and their failed relationship.  It was still far too fresh and painful.  Maybe letting the girl in had been a bad idea to begin with.  The small boy felt himself begin to panic, the chaos falling over him like a blanket like it did before he started to radiate.  The last thing he needed was to start radiating.  The panic was getting worse, and if Elijah didn't pull himself in quickly, things were going to get even worse.  Sienna was trying so hard...the last thing she deserved was the waves of chaos to hit her.  But the panic in Elijah's head...maybe if he concentrated on speech.  He caught the tail end of Sienna's question (more questions!), enough to put together what she had said.  "Because I should be angry at myself.  I've done dumb things and I've destroyed anything I might be able to salvage with Jack," it seemed like enough of an answer.  Easy...time to quickly say goodbye.

But no, the questions kept coming.  Elijah could feel the twitchy anger in his stomach, the chaos starting to roll off of his body.  "Jack wasn't cheating, so there was nothing to catch," the boy said through gritted teeth.  He had to get this settled, get Sienna out of his room before things got out of hand.  The daughter of Venus wasn't doing anything wrong, and Elijah knew he'd have to stress that point.  It had nothing to do with the girl...it had everything to do with his nasty, volatile way of functioning.  Sienna was trying, and given that she was Elijah's ex-boyfriend's sister, and the two had never had a properly working relationship, it was pretty amazing that she was bothering.  And even though the boy felt like he was trying as well, it was getting closer and closer to his breaking point.  He had to get Sienna out before things got ugly.  "Sienna, please stop asking so many questions..." the small boy practically begged softly.  Those questions could be the downfall of this newly constructed relationship.  Besides, Elijah liked getting along with the girl...he didn't want to be the one to ruin that.

But it was like the chaos was standing at the ready, waiting for the go-ahead to start moving.  Wait...it was waiting!  It was currently at Elijah's command!  For one of the first times, the small boy felt like he could actually do something about the impending mess.  "Sienna, I..." Elijah trailed off pathetically, floundering for the right words.  There was only so much he could say, at least before he lost his cool.  To keep the radiating from happening, the small boy just had to keep his mouth shut.  He'd just have to multitask...no radiating and finding the right words at the same time.  It wasn't easy.  But the girl was talking, and it made sense to Elijah...it made him feel even worse about preparing to send her away.  "You're right," the boy managed softly.  His mouth felt bone dry, and he felt the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.  Forget pissing Sienna off without meaning to, the son of Discordia was going to completely embarrass himself on the way down.  He didn't need this...he couldn't cry in front of someone who probably just pitied him.  He didn't want to cry in front of anyone!  He couldn't keep going this way.

But of course, it didn't work that way, and Elijah felt a tear roll down his cheek.  It was all he needed, and all he didn't need at the same time.  Pulling his knees closer to his chest, Elijah looked down.  "I think you should go now," the small boy said, barely above a whisper.  The emotions were reaching a dangerous point, where he would be able to hold back the radiation any longer.  "I..." looking back up, the boy put on the bravest smile he could manage.  It was probably completely pathetic, but he had to try.  "Thank you for coming to see me, Sienna...it means a lot to me..." he wanted to make sure she knew how much it meant to him.  "I do need control back...and some of that I have to do on my own.  But...I'd like to talk again...I'd rather have you as a friend than an enemy," maybe it would seem like too much, but Elijah meant every word.  How could he be pretending when the emotions were so intense?  Looking back down, the boy hoped he could hide the tears that were falling again.