Come What May ((Calla)) ((PG-13))

Calix learned quickly to try and finish all of his work before Calla came back for the weekend. Once she stepped foot into camp, there was no chance he would get to touch his papers until she left to go back to school. At first, the idea made him twitch. The Legion was his job, his livelihood, and he didn’t want to abandon it for one second. But she was absolutely adamant that he join her for movies and food from Friday night to Sunday evening. It sort of became an integral part of Calix’s recovery process. He knew from his first bad episode that loneliness only prolonged his sickness. So he welcomed the deviation from routine. And not only because it was healthy for him, but because it was Calla. His best friend since childhood. His dance partner and partner in everything else, actually. Admittedly his first crush. Those days in particular were gone, of course but he couldn’t deny that she still meant a lot to him. A bond like that just didn’t go away. So they started watching movies on Calla’s laptop in his room at the start of the weekend.

At first they’d stop around midnight so Calla could rejoin the second cohort. But as the weeks went on, the movies lasted longer and they fell asleep together more often. Completely innocent. It had been a while since Calix ever had anyone next to him, and he missed it. The loneliness got worse at night, and at least he knew that he’d get company on the weekends. He sat at his desk, finishing up his last report, aware in the back of his mind that Calla would be there any second.

Calla was so ready for the week to be done.  It was mid-terms once again (honestly, it felt like she had mid-terms every week).  Almost every other week, she had either a dance or music test or solo to perform.  At least, this week was just papers and tests that had been due.  And now, she only had one paper due on Tuesday, that she knew she was going to do on Monday night, because there was no was in hell that she was going to be doing it this weekend.  Frankly, she didn't really do much during any weekend, as of late.  In her defense, she thought it was for a good reason.

Watching movies with Calix had been a tradition for them ever since they were in their tween years.  Recently, it had really been her only sense of normalcy in her life--being a normal twenty-one-year-old.  She could not wait to be back at Camp.  Honestly, at that time last year, she hadn't been nearly as excited, because coming back to Camp meant that she would be doing homework and paperwork.  And paperwork and homework.  And so on and so forth the entire weekend.  Now, at least, there was something to look forward to.

A long time ago, Calla had read something on the internet that said that guys and girls can't just be friends.  For the longest time, she thought that was the stupidest thing, because that's all she and Calix were.  But, now...For some reason, there was something more--at least on her end--when they were together.  She remembered a time when they were in their early teenage years (again, around the time that they started the movie marathon tradition before they started he started bringing other people).  Honestly, she had to be no older than fourteen when this was a thing...but whenever she was around him, there was this weird feeling in her stomach.  Almost like a fluttering feeling.  One that made her cheeks and nose warm when she thought his name.  Even when he had started dating (before her, of course), she still had the feelings every once in a while...Like the time that they were out at Denny's in the middle of the night because Calla needed to get out of New Rome for a little while--otherwise she was certain she would have killed Cicero...Calix had licked a spoon and stuck it to his nose...The stupidest thing, but it was a defining moment in the blonde girl's life.  Calla's face started getting warm just when she thought of it, as she was pulling into her normal parking spot just outside the Greek camp boundaries.  


But, after a while, she started losing hope, and the butterfly sensation faded completely.

On her walk between Second and the Principa, her mind started playing old memories that couldn't do anything except make Calla smile.  Even that old saying that girls and boys can't just be friends made her smile when she realised that it brought the sensation in her stomach back after all these years...The centurion did what she could to reduce the colour on her cheeks before she knocked on Calix's door.  So, if he asks, I just had a dress rehearsal, and had a shit ton of extra blush... she decided silently.

When Calix opened the door, she smiled, "Hey."  She paused for a second, "Up for another movie?" she asked, a little warily, knowing that that was the only thing the two had been doing for weeks, now.  Hell, she even stopped making a pit-stop at Second to drop off her stuff, because she knew that she wasn't staying there.  Calla had gotten used to sleeping alone a long time ago when Marius had gone back to France to serve his country--which she wasn't exactly happy about, because she had always been very possessive--but anytime that he came back, she always felt so much better being with someone she loved...

Being with Calix all night, like that was...different.  It wasn't that Marius didn't feel right...it's just that Calix felt better...almost fairytale-esque.  And it was certainly something that the legacy would never want to give up...at least, not anytime soon--and certainly not by her choice.

Calix heard the knock and his pulse quickened. Unconsciously, his hand ran through his hair, and he smoothed down his shirt. In hindsight, the gesture seemed a bit silly. He only wore an old faded t-shirt and sweatpants. Nothing impressive in the slightest. Internally, he questioned why it mattered then shrugged it off as a habit of a praetor who had to appear presentable to all he encountered. Calix went up to the door and opened it. His face immediately lit up in a smile. “Hi,” he said, just as Calla greeted him. He felt a chuckle bubbling in his throat but before he could comment on their mental synchronization, she got right down to business. “Yeah.” He stepped aside. “Come in.” His heart hadn’t stopped racing.

That was a phenomenon that began with their movie nights. Calix was a man who had been training with the Roman Legion for the majority of his life. There was no possible way, no legitimate way to explain why walking to his door from his room made it a little hard for him to breathe. Not to mention the sudden dizziness. Yes, the praetor did have a bad habit of unintentionally dehydrating and starving himself… a pattern that formed when She first left, but with the increased company and socialization, he thought himself to be getting better. He did finish a water bottle along with his paperwork. Could he be getting sick? That might have also explained the weird feeling in his stomach. He didn’t understand. It only ever happened around Calla, and he knew for a fact that her presence only made him feel better, less alone… and at the same time… this.

The two made their way into the familiar environment of Calix’s room, and he motioned for her to make herself comfortable and set up what she needed. “I, uh, have the popcorn and all that. What are we watching tonight?” He took the bowl from his desk and jumped in bed, scooting to the side closest to the wall to give Calla room. “Wait, let me guess,” his eyes danced with a teasing light. “A musical.” His heartbeat grew impossibly quicker and his mind flashed back to the day before he left for Rome. Oh no.

He had gone to see Calla for the last time before his trip. The year leading up to that day was filled with a bit of difficulty for the two of them. Calix was certain that his crush on Calla would do nothing but destroy their friendship, so he dated others. Understandably, his best friend, the girl who he usually spent the most time with, didn’t appreciate the change. Calla was angry with him. Calix brushed it off and grew to enjoy the pattern of weekly girlfriends. Until one in particular. Her name was Bella, and she was Calix’s biggest mistake. Calix dated Bella the longest… but knew he had to break it off when she forbade him from seeing Calla, and he couldn’t stand the idea. That was also the day when he realized he wasn’t over her. When he realized his childish crush was something a lot deeper. So he resolved to tell Calla he loved her the day before he left. But he didn’t. And he lost the chance along with, what he thought, were the feelings.

But now he knew that he hadn’t lost those feelings after all. He was still in love with Calla Torquatus

For some reason, the smile that was on her face never left...ever when she was around Calix.  When he answered the door, she subconsciously tucked her hair behind her ear, as she stepped into his room.  When she first started coming over, it wasn't weird being alone with him like this.  The intention was to comfort each other--seeing as he had recently been left, and she had been widowed in a sense.  She needed some sort of support, and Calix was the only one that she didn't feel like she bothered all of the time.  Don't get her wrong, she rarely felt as though she were bothering Sienna or Mia for things...but that was different.  Calix had been in that position before, and he was able to get out of it.  And honestly, it had been helping a great deal.  To be honest, she didn't know if it would have worked out as well as it had if she had been solely relying on Mia or Si.  There was just something about Calix that helped her, rather than just brushing her off or rubbing her the wrong way...even just telling her to get over it.  Again, she loved her friends dearly, it was just...something that Calix did differently, or maybe it was the chemistry that the two had had for so long.

The blonde woman swung her backpack off of her shoulder, and set it on the floor next to the side of the bed that she had kind of claimed as hers.  The only time her smile had faltered was when she realised that that was most likely where Luthien had slept first.  Her expression began to grow more dim--if not almost entirely glum.  The legacy hid her face as she looked down at her backpack, and ended up bringing it up to the bed.  Her hair had fallen out from behind her ear, and now blocked her face.  

Unzipping the bag, Calla offered, "Musical, you said?" hoping her tone wasn't anything alarming.  "I've got Les Mis, Moulin Rouge, Hairspray, and August Rush this weekend."  She moved the bit of clothes that she had started keeping in her backpack--after she started accidentally staying overnight...and then staying the entire weekend in the Principa...in his room--and started pulling out the movies, one by one.  There were a few extra movies that Calla stowed away in her bag, as well, that had come out.  When all of the movies were now sprawled out on Calix's bed, the woman grabbed a single piece of popcorn, popping it in her mouth before nudging him for an answer.  "What do you think?" she asked again, listing off the musicals she had brought once more.  

Her smile had returned again when she looked at him.  The same happened with the butterflies...not that they had ever really gone away...but they had definitely increased intensity when the two made eye contact.  She felt her pulse start racing, and her breathing becoming more shallow.  The blonde did everything she could to make it seem as though everything were just fine.  At least she was happy.  And dear gods was she happy.  She honestly couldn't remember a time that she was this happy.  It was insane.  She felt safe, and happy, and giddy, and nervous, yet excited, and loved, and in love...

...Wait.  

...Back up.

She couldn't.  He was supposed to be still figuring himself out.  He was supposed to be still figuring out the shit that happened with his ex-wife...She was supposed to be mourning Marius...It couldn't be...

...but it was.  It really was.  Dear gods, Calla had fallen for him again.  She couldn't say anything, though.  She didn't want to ruin anything, or make anything awkward.  That would destroy her.  She honestly had no idea where she would be if anything happened to their friendship.  Sure, she still had Mia and Si...but...they've already started replacing her.  She had just started getting Calix back...she couldn't lose him...

The young woman's smile faltered again as she began thinking about it, soon it disappeared again.  Calla laid back onto the bed, and got comfortable.  "Would you mind setting up the movie this time?" she asked, as a wave of abdominal cramps spread through her, taking a lot of willpower to not groan audibly.  Calla grabbed a small handful of popcorn--consisting of maybe four pieces--and started eating them one by one.

By all accounts, Calix shouldn’t be feeling this way. The reason these… get-togethers (he didn’t exactly want to call them ‘dates’) began was for a sense of solidarity. Lúthien physically left Calix and emotionally left him feeling more miserable than he ever remembered being in his entire life. Calix spent so long wondering what he did wrong. Wondering why she didn’t love him anymore after he changed, after he defied his parents, after he did everything for her. After he turned into a FOOL for her. He hated himself and punished himself accordingly. Calix reverted to his state of mind from her first disappearance. He locked himself in his room. He didn’t eat. He didn’t drink. He spent his entire day in bed, alternating between crying and sleeping. He couldn’t even drag himself to his shower for the longest time. He returned to that pit where he promised himself he would never go again. And that’s when he began to feel anger. She ruined his life. After he was nothing but faithful and loving, she just left. If he had never met her… he wouldn’t have wasted years of his time. Even if he did meet her… if he’d known Calla was alive… he couldn’t help but think the entire situation would be entirely different.
 
If Calix could, he would turn back time to that moment before he said his goodbyes to Calla and he would tell her. He couldn’t begin to guess what her reaction might have been but at least she would have known, and he wouldn’t be holding it in, basically threatening to burst from him like a firework. The entire situation was a would have/could have/should have… but he had a chance to say things now, right? And (again) he would… but he didn’t know Calla’s progress with her own healing. Calix didn’t know the exact details of the situation with Marius but he could see in her eyes, at least in the beginning of them spending their nights together, that she was badly hurt. Because of that Calix didn’t know if suddenly expressing his desire to be with her was appropriate. But he didn’t have to rush. Any and every moment with Calla was perfect in his eyes. Plus, part of him also feared rejection… this ruining their friendship forever. So until he mustered up the courage to tell her, he settled for pining… and hoping…
 
If anything stayed the same about Calla, it was her predictability. When he mentioned the word ‘musical’ she pulled four DVDs out of her backpack that matched the genre. Calix broke into a grin. He loved her passion and her dream to be on stage. She’d make it. That was another thing the praetor knew for sure. Calla worked too hard and had too much talent to not have the spotlight. The thought distracted Calix long enough that he resurfaced from his daydreams just as she was listing the movies again. “Uh, yeah. Totally. You know I like musicals too.” She met his eyes, and Calix’s grin grew wider and goofier. He loved her eyes. Calix recalled many debates over their color. He didn’t exactly care for specifics… he just knew they were pretty. Calix barely resurfaced again at her request to set up the movie. He nodded numbly and picked up Moulin Rouge. After he set it up on the laptop, Calix slid next to Calla, taking a handful of popcorn and stuffing it all in his mouth. “Ready?” When he turned look at her, he noticed something different in the way she held herself. “Are you okay?”

Calla couldn't help but chuckle when Calix obviously was lost in a day dream (or something).  The more she thought about it, the more she realised that it was something that had become sort of normal for him.  Her heart wanted to believe that he was thinking about her, but realistically...she knew it probably wasn't true.  Though, recently she'd noticed a different way he would look at her.  A way that would send her mind spinning while she stood in place, trying not to get dizzy.   The woman slumped a little bit in the bed, getting as comfortable as she could be with recent...conclusions about the cramps that were starting to run rampant in her abdomen.  Her legs crossed almost instinctively, comfortably, yet still instinctive as she lay there.  

As Calix set up the movie, the centurion's eyes closed slightly and she sighed quietly to herself.  After a few second, again while Calix was still fidgeting with her laptop, Cal reached over and grabbed her water bottle to hopefully let whatever was stirring in her stomach pass on without incident.  Though, as she took her drink, she couldn't help but wonder if the nausea was from the mixed sensations (emotional with Calix, and now something so obvious that stuck out for Calla's physical vices) or if it was from said vice that had decided to plague her.

Setting her water bottle back on the floor, Calla sat back up against the headboard of a bed that once had been uncomfortably new and unfamiliar to something she could count on for comfort.  Perhaps it was a metaphor.  Not that she was ever uncomfortable around Calix...but when Luthien was around she could kind of feel an atmosphere of unwanted.  Still it was odd.  But now that things had changed, Calla could only hope, she guessed.  

Calix's voice brought her back from her thoughts, again.  When he asked if she was ready, Calla just nodded.  She then smiled at him when he asked if she was okay.  "Yeah, I'm fine," the centurion said, and turned her attention to her laptop screen and rested her head on his muscular shoulder.  As she laid there, she could feel her stresses slipping away as she relaxed.  

Singing along with the songs was always a tradition they had.  The duets, solos, whole cast songs...When the movie got to Come What May, Calla couldn't help but feel something pulling at her.


  
By the end of the song, she had gotten closer to him, physically, and her lips brushed his at the end of the final note from that line.

The way that Calla acted made Calix feel as if his presence was more upsetting to his friend than anything else. This made his heart sink the smallest fraction. He wouldn’t have been surprised or even blamed her if that were the case, though he didn’t know what he could have possibly done differently that would illicit this new reaction from her. The other nights had gone by without a hitch, but the praetor felt that something in the atmosphere was different this time around. He chose not to read too much into it. Maybe his nerves were ruling his judgment in that instance. So Calix decided to focus on the task at hand. He set the laptop between them and casually placed his arm around her waist. Calla’s head fit nicely in the crook of his shoulder, and he turned his head to softly press his lips on top of her head. It was a sweet gesture, friendly and affectionate. He couldn’t help but think that he liked the new shampoo she used.

The movie started and the two fell into a routine too familiar. Moulin Rouge was a movie they both thoroughly enjoyed. Calla simply enjoyed it for the fact that it was a musical, though she swore up and down that the storyline had something to do with it as well. Calix had to confess that his reasoning wasn’t too much better. After watching the Star Wars prequels, watching Moulin Rouge was just a chance to see Obi Wan Kenobi singing. Calix glanced at Calla every time she raised her voice to match Nicole Kidman’s or anyone else, really. His heart swelled at the sound of her voice. Gods, he couldn’t deny: he was in too deep. Perfect. He couldn’t describe her in any other way. Calix felt a bit of fear as these thoughts began to dominate his mind. What if she didn’t feel the same way? What if she moved on from the thought of ever falling in love with him? Another fear took him. What if no one would love him again?

Then the atmosphere changed yet again, and Calix felt something more light settle over his soul. He locked eyes with Calla at the last line of his personal favorite song. His heart soared when he noticed how close they sat to each other. On instinct, his head inclined down toward his best friend’s. His heart pounded in his chest, and he couldn’t ever remember feeling so much like a teenager in love. Calla’s lips touched his, and Calix felt invincible. Immediately he increased their contact, catching her lips in his in an almost hungry kiss and cupping the back of her neck with his right hand. Calix couldn’t deny in this moment that he wanted this. He wanted Calla. So bad.