"I think I'm hungry" {Elijah, closed}

<sub>Rory knew that it was always in her fate to be alone, there was no avoiding it. Sure she might have a friend, or a fling, but in the end she was always left alone. So when she first found Elijah she refused to believe it would ever end with a real friend, even after years she waits for the call saying he was gone or dead. That didn't mean she didn't cling to him for dear life while he was there. It was good, she was almost happy and not starving. Then she had to ruin it all, by falling for some innocent girl who was just stupidly perfect. There wasn't anything bad so Rory forced the bad to come, she couldn't stand having anything good it wasn't in her nature.

Rory felt utterly empty, she knew she would be in trouble when she finally left her bed and returned to her duties. Each time she opened her eyes she felt like gouging them out, each time she took a breath she felt needles filling her lungs. It seemed the fact that she felt was a burden she had bought. Feeling had come with a price and Aurora knew the price of everything, she was a crook at heart after all. Each time she nearly killed a camper who turned the corner too quickly.Each time she found herself in a corner sobbing. Each time she weighed the price of knowing pain and found the scales to be stacked. She’d pay more to not feel anything, nothing at all. 

That was worth any price.

She tried, and dammit she tried hard, she tried to suck it up and live the life she had, a damn good one. The motivation had left her, it left her to her demons. Everyone knew Rory couldn't kill a monster, she laid with her demons, let them decide when she woke up and when she slept. It was as close as she could get to dying without getting her thrown into a mental ward. She didn't know how she arrived in Elijah's room, or why she was crying. She sobbed out four words as if it had been clear all along.</sub>

                                                                                          "I think I'm hungry"

There were some times where Elijah really just needed a break from the main room of the Principia. Times when it wasn't necessary to find Jack, but the small boy definitely needed to get out for a bit. He liked that his room was just down the hall, and that he had his own room at all. It gave the boy the chance to safely blow off steam. Even if it was just a matter of pacing, Elijah needed those times. This was one of them...if the boy had to do any more paperwork, he was going to scream. So with a nod to his best friend and fellow Praetor, he half ran down the hall to his corner bedroom. It was well enough known that an angry Elijah was a dangerous Elijah...at least, the boy assumed people knew that. It wasn't like he had a great track record either way. Rumors always circled that way, of course. The boy thought he wasn't that bad. He still had emotions, and loved people...things were different at camp than they had been in the mortal world, but that was an important piece. And it was good that things were different. For all the years that the boy had spent being bullied, and eventually feared in the mortal world, he never realized how great it was to have people he loved. The son of Discordia had never had any of that. But he liked it this way. Elijah knew he would never go back to how things were once upon a time...and there were plenty of people who would never make that so.

Thinking about all the people in his life was definitely relaxing, as Elijah paced his bedroom. There had never been important people before. There had never been anyone. Even his father and step-mother weren't strong presences in the boy's life. They always seemed to hate him almost as much as he hated them. No one at school. No one at the synagogue he caused the family to get kicked out of. Elijah was a loner, people stayed away from him. And that was just the way the small boy liked it...or had liked it, back them. Things had changed so much as soon as River came into his life. It was odd to think about her being the start to Elijah's social blossoming. It would be so easy for that to be it, but it wasn't. And as more and more people came into the boy's life in a positive way, he was really learning about the life he had always been uncaring of.

People needed Elijah. As a friend and a lover and a leader of Camp Jupiter 2.0. And he was learning that he was okay with all that. Well...more than okay. Being social, being a leader of the community...these were good things, and the boy was seeing he was good at them. Maybe he had been denying them himself all these years. But maybe River really was the first person to get through those thick walls. Either way, this was a whole new life that Elijah was leading. And none of it was one sided...he got out of these relationships just as much as he was giving in. It still seemed a bit unbelievable, even to this day. Elijah had never figured himself to be a likable person. If he was a likable person, people would like him. Growing up, he hadn't understood any of this, though. At this point, he was grateful he understood now. Camp would be absolutely terrible if it had continued like his life in the mortal world.

So lost in his own world, Elijah jumped as the door to his room opened. He was ready to reprimand Calix for disturbing him, but he quickly realized Calix wasn't the one in his room. "Rory?" the boy gaped. Rory came in and out...Elijah adored the girl, but sometimes she kept her distance and sometimes he kept his. It was just how things went with them. They'd go weeks seeing each other every day and weeks not at all. It had been awhile since they had seen each other, and Elijah didn't like the way Rory looked. "Rory, I-" he stopped suddenly as soon as he heard the words coming out of the girl's mouth. That wasn't the sort of thing he wanted to hear. The boy was ready to go into panic mode...but that wasn't right. "Well..." Elijah was still dumbstruck. "Well then let's go get you some food," it sounded a bit dumb...but maybe just simple was best.

Rory knew that Elijah would always be there for here, and it was weird having someone to rely on like the girl relied on Elijah. So maybe it made sense that she would show up and confess something so dangerous. Rory knew she should have been eating but she just couldn’t bring herself to care for herself in that way. When you hated yourself as deeply as Rory did it’s hard to want to care for the body you live in, and that’s how Rory saw herself. She was a soul inside a body, a horrible rotting soul inside a beautiful drop dead beautiful body but that’s not the point. The point is that Rory felt her stomach clench and wanted to die so badly that it hurt, and that’s why she needed help.

“I’m sorry” The girl barely whispered to her friend, she knew that he had issues too and she was coming in here like her life was more important than his. “Yeah, maybe a milkshake. I don’t think my stomach could handle anything real… I haven’t eaten in a while” she mumbled her words trying to make them untrue with her lips, it didn’t work though. She was still as broken and hungry as ever, and suddenly the thought of being broken made her mad. She was strong, she’d been through hell and back and came back with a fire. She was a fire and everyone else in the world was going to burn under her. “I really messed up this time, I stopped going to work details and….. I messed up big time”

Rory could feel anything else, there was nothing more to say or do except climb into her friends bed.

((this is so short but, I have no muse and Zoe you know how I'm feeling so sorry again for short and bad))

Sometimes, things that happened in Elijah's life were so surreal.  Actually, most of life at camp was surreal.  It had been two years and lots of the time, the boy still felt like he was living in a dream.  He had friends, and a boyfriend, and a sister, and none of it made any sense.  But...Elijah kind of liked it that way.  There were always those little bumps in the road, though...he worried about the people he loved.  And Rory was included in those.  There was definitely something wrong...the boy should have seen that from the beginning.  There were times where he was far too clueless.  But the son of Discordia knew he had to be there for his friend.  Whatever was going on...and Elijah didn't know what was going on (it had been awhile since he had seen Rory), but it definitely wasn't anything pretty.  In the time the two spent together, the boy had figured out a lot about his friend.  He knew she could be a total wreck at times, and he had a feeling she had body image issues.  These were things that Elijah had never faced before.  He didn't know what he could do, really.  Well, aside from being the friend Rory definitely needed right now.

When the girl apologized softly, Elijah felt his heart break.  Rory was suffering and he hadn't caught on or gone to see her or anything...the boy was feeling completely ashamed of himself.  It wasn't his fault...but he should have been a better friend.  Now was his chance to fix it a bit, though.  Whatever fixing could be done immediately.  "Rory, a milkshake is going to be heavy and make your stomach hurt.  You'll end up getting sick," looking around, Elijah saw he had a couple granola bars sitting on his desk.  That was probably better in the circumstances.  Rory had said herself that it had been awhile since she had eaten.  From what little the boy knew about eating disorders, he figured she'd end up hating herself for having a milkshake anyway.  That was definitely another thing to avoid.  Elijah wished he knew how to handle all this better.  Being clueless was something the boy hated.

"You didn't mess up," Elijah promised reassuringly.  "You hit a rough patch.  Now is the time to turn things around," was that too insensitive?  What exactly did Rory need to hear?  As the girl climbed onto Elijah's bed, the boy sat beside her and put his arm around her, pulling her close to his side.  Physicality was something the boy was getting better at...he had never been the touchy-feely type, but that was sort of changing.  He and River had spent plenty of time physically close, and Jack sort of threw everything off-kilter anyway.  Rory was a physical person, and the son of Discordia really hoped right now it was okay to hold her.  Sometimes a hug could do so much more than words...that was something Jack had taught Elijah.  The small boy had always relied on words.  That was had really started changing.  He was learning that people needed different things in different situations.  It was all new to the boy, but he was definitely trying to do what he could.

A quick glance at his desk brought the granola bars back to Elijah's mind.  "Why don't you try something easier on your stomach?" he asked Rory softly but firmly.  "I have some granola bars...that might be a better start than a milkshake," where could he even find a milkshake?  New Rome, maybe, but the boy sort of wanted to keep Rory safely in his room until she was feeling better.  The granola bars were a good find for an empty stomach, or so Elijah figured.  Much better than a milkshake (again, that was just what the boy figured).  Crackers would probably have been best, but the small boy didn't have any of those...and again, he didn't want to worry about bringing Rory out or leaving her alone.  "I can't get you a milkshake right now, Rory," Elijah said gently.  "Have a granola bar or two, and we'll go from there," for a brief moment, Elijah was concerned he was being insensitive again, but he had his reasons for what he was saying.  Besides, he cared more about getting Rory in a better place, whether she found his methods insensitive or not.

((Congratulations, Rory!  Discordia is always the most awesome of them all!  OMGODDESS SIBLINGS!))