Awkward ((Elijah)) ((L and implied S))

Calix fell into his old routine easily. Ever since he and Lúthien reunited, Calix found himself diving headfirst into everything he did from cohort sortings to guard duty to the stacks of paper work that had culminated over the months. Originally, Calix did his work with the mindset that it had to be done and that it was essential to the functioning of the Legion. And while that did remain true, Calix began to look at the stacks of paper in a more positive light. The Praetor didn’t go skipping around Camp Jupiter and willingly accept more reports and inventory, but he sighed a lot less. He took it as a sign. Everything became clockwork again. Everything became normal. And the Praetor never felt more relieved to have a schedule.

He sat in his desk in the main room of the Principia early one morning trying to get a start on paperwork. Slowly but surely, his pile began to get smaller. He had finished everything he left during his three month hermitage and was now only about a week and a half behind. Despite the continuing mass of paperwork, Calix found himself very relaxed if not a little bit tired. The thought made the Praetor yawn and the paper in front of him became a tiny bit blurry. He blinked the clouds from his eyes and attempted to re-focus on the horrible handwriting at hand. Part of Calix’s aforementioned schedule included rising before the sun itself thought to wake and, no matter how hard Calix tried, his internal alarm clock kept to that schedule perfectly. It didn’t matter if Calix fell asleep an hour before the designated time, his eyes never failed to open at the same exact time. Usually that didn’t pose a problem considering that Calix knew the importance of a good night’s sleep to a productive next day, but lately that had become a problem.

Thinking about the night before, Calix cringed. He set the pen down and leaned back in his chair. It hadn’t been the first incident either. Calix tried to ignore it, be courteous, but there was only a certain amount that he could take. His eyes flickered to the door to his left, the entrance to Elijah’s room. No, he shouldn’t. Calix turned his eyes back on the paper and began twirling the pen around his fingers. Okay, where was he? Calix fell back into his work for maybe only a minute. It didn’t take too long for the Praetor to yawn and get distracted again. Everything in his life had reverted to a sense of normalcy. Except that one thing. Maybe a suggestion would do. A hint. He didn’t want to say anything outright in fear of being rude. At this point, work became a background thought. Calix formulated a rough outline as to where he hoped the conversation would go even he knew halfway into the actual conversation, it’d veer off in a way he didn’t expect. Elijah tended to do that.

Calix set down his pen. No he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. Just as he thought this, he heard the other door opening and his eyes flickered to see the other boy. Calix had a three second battle of ‘should I or shouldn’t I’. And he spoke before he could stop himself. “Elijah? May I ask you something?”

At this point, Elijah was understanding that change was a necessary thing.  He had never been too great with handling it, but so much had changed in the past...well, however long it had been (time, damnit!) since he had gotten to camp that the boy felt better about it all.  Mostly, anyway.  So much of it was new and different...so much more than the word change could even cover.  Things were different at camp.  Not only did Elijah have friends, people liked him in general.  And he had Jack.  Jack, his boyfriend.  Six months since they had started dating and Elijah still had a hard time believing it was all true.  That he and the son of Venus were together...and in love...and just...all of it.  Because this sort of thing didn't happen to people like Elijah.  People like Elijah weren't allowed to have boyfriends, or enjoy life like this or live happily ever after.  Everything that the boy had.  Best friends like River and Calix...a sister like Lúth (as she was coming back to her old life)...a boyfriend like Jack.  But everything was great about life.  And sometimes the son of Discordia wondered if part of the issue in the mortal world was he had never allowed himself these things.  All that time he had spent keeping people away...building complex fortresses to keep people out.  In the mortal world, though, there were countless issues.  People were afraid of Elijah, although they didn't always know why.  The high school the boy had been to was ridiculously small, so people were often in each others' business.  Whispers sort of carried over from the middle school...the small boy had been relatively infamous before he even started high school.  People knew he was dangerous...and no one wanted to risk it.

"If they could only see me now..." the boy mumbled as he opened his eyes, blinking away the sleep.  What time was it?  Trying to look at his clock without moving from his position curled around his boyfriend, Elijah frowned.  It was early enough, but Jack had definitely shut off his alarm.  Ever since the older boy had started spending nights over, Elijah's typical morning routine had slackened.  Before then, the boy was out running by six, in the arena to train by seven, and getting ready for the day by eight.  In his mind, keeping fit and trained was incredibly important.  Along with his vegan diet, of course.  Jack placed importance in it, but didn't see the running and training as a daily necessity the way Elijah did.  So the younger boy's daily routine was cut back to every other day or so.  And then other things started happening, and even though he wouldn't admit to it, waking up at quarter to six was often the last thing Elijah wanted after a night of sex.  Though typically it was the Praetor's call as to whether to turn off the alarm or not, Jack went ahead and did so without permission.  And apparently, Jack had turned it off at somepoint, because it was well past normal wake up time.  Shaking Jack, Elijah sighed.  "You are in so much trouble, loverboy," the boy mumbled as his boyfriend snoozed on.

Elijah didn't want to get out of bed.  It was getting chilly out as the season turned...the boy had grown up north enough in Maine to be more resilient to extreme cold than most, but that didn't mean he had to like it.  And why bother getting up and facing the cold autumn morning when he could cuddle with Jack?  Rubbing his eyes, Elijah sighed again.  It was time to get up anyway...even if he missed his morning routine, the small boy needed to get ready for setting up shop in the Principia.  Although Calix kept insisting that his co-Praetor take some days off, Elijah wasn't the type to do more than a day or two at a time.  He knew Calix was only trying to do what he thought was right after leaving the son of Discordia on his own for so long, Elijah rather enjoyed working as a Praetor.  It kept his brain working right and gave him a purpose.  And in some ways, it kept the boy humble...though there were also plenty of times he would love to punch people coming to him with their issues in the face.  That was life...the boy finally forced himself up and out of bed, pushing a pillow under Jack's arm as to not disturb his sleep.  As he did so, Elijah frowned, noticing slight rope burns on his wrists.  Where the hell had the son of Venus found ropes?  It had definitely been fun...but those were going to sting for a few days.  "Gods, Jack..." Elijah mumbled as he got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom.  At least it was long sleeve weather and the burns were easily hidden.

Coming out from his shower and haphazardly grabbing some clothes, the boy got ready for the day.  He put together his bag...a few books and notebooks in case he got the time, plenty of pens...everything as usual.  Finally, the boy grabbed his favorite hoodie- a dark blue zip up "on loan" from Jack and pulled it over his head.  The older boy still slept soundly in Elijah's bed, bringing a small smile to the Praetor's face.  Just because he needed to be up didn't mean Jack did.  Pulling the covers up a little higher and adjusting the fake-Elijah-pillow, the son of Discordia kissed Jack's temple.  "I love you," he said softly, chuckling as Jack mumbled the sentiments back sleepily.  Quietly exiting his room, the boy headed towards the main room, hoping that he beat Calix out there this morning.  As much fun as the night before had been for Jack and him, Elijah doubted it had been so for Calix.  If the boy's friend and fellow Praetor was out there, he would have the opportunity to address the...volume levels.  The boy knew it was probably an issue at this point.  If he got to the main room before Calix, he could pretend to be too buried in work to talk about it.  Though it was something that would definitely come up eventually...and Elijah knew it had to.  "Stop being so paranoid," the boy whispered to himself before turning the corner.  Peeking out first, the small boy frowned.  The Legacy of Bellona was already out there.  Paranoid...head high, Elijah walked into the main room.  Before he even had time to wish his friend a good morning, the older boy had asked a question that Elijah only half heard...and processed even less of it.  A paranoid response flew from the boy's mouth before he even realized it.  "No, I was not tied to the bed last night!" he half yelled.  "My Gods, Calix...shame on you for asking!"

Of all reactions Calix tried to plan for, of all the scenarios he tried to dream up the last thing he ever expected was to be accused of…. he didn’t even know! Calix could have been talking about the weather for all Elijah knew! Why did he have to bring up- ugh. All of Calix’s thoughts in that moment fell somewhere along that line of thought, the feeling of panic weaving in and out at the same time. Thank the gods Calix knew how to keep emotion from his face for the most part. It bought him some time to actually think up a coherent response instead of retreating back into his paperwork. But even with all the time in the world, Calix wondered how he could possibly respond intelligently to his partner. After a few more seconds, Calix gave up and ended up stuttering, “I uh….. I didn’t.” ’And will never’ he wanted to add but assumed that that could have gone unsaid.

Elijah’s outburst completely threw the other Praetor for a loop, and it took a while for what he really aimed this conversation to be about to form back in his mind. Calix visibly cringed. It wasn’t any different from what Elijah accused him for near-asking. The Legacy ran a hand through his hair. Maybe he should just leave it. The topic was already touchy as Elijah demonstrated, and he had a feeling that if he crossed a certain line, Elijah’s fist would come crossing back into his jaw. A phantom pain began to throb there which only furthered Calix’s resolve to let the issue rest and bring it back some other time, some other place, some other day. As that side almost won out in his mental battle, Calix felt another yawn coming on. He thanked the gods that he didn’t fall into the category of a regular run-of-the-mill Legionnaire and was tasked to do guard duty that day. The lack of sleep Calix had to endure night in and night out… was almost too much (for him at least who made it a point to get the designated eight hours a night). So he had to tell Elijah. It was going to be helpful in the long-run after all. What consequences the conversation would bring presently couldn’t currently be determined. Such was the thought process of the Legacy as he tried to think of ways to voice his opinion without losing a limb.

Calix coughed again. “But ah, I did notice you were with Jack last night.” An understatement and beating around the bush, something Calix never did until much recently when he’d learned to somewhat take the other person’s feelings into account. Other than what he just said, Calix didn’t know how else to put his point. He turned more words and sentences around in his mind. “Every night he’s here in fact… the walls are rather thin in the Principia, you see.” Calix readied himself to run or drop the conversation entirely. That is all he wanted to say anyway. Maybe Elijah would only nod, also not wanting to further discuss and be a bit more careful next time. Calix’s hands twitched, and he stood there for a bit more when he didn’t come charging at him with a signed death warrant. “Just thought you’d like to know,” he added awkwardly as an afterthought. “If you’d let me know in advance I’d be happy to leave the building…”

It took Elijah a moment to figure out what he had said.  A very long and awkward moment.  Whatever Calix had said just previous to the small boy's outburst, it obviously had nothing to do with...the outburst.  Because obviously the older boy would have no idea what had happened with Elijah and Jack the night before.  At least...not in any non-creepy way, which were otherwise too gross to think about.  There had always been some understanding between the two Praetors...a certain boundary they had come to respect.  But things changed...and Elijah felt a stab of guilt that he hadn't exactly been respecting the fact that the Principia had thin walls and Calix was in the room right next to him.  There were a few major problems, though.  The main one was that the small boy couldn't exactly take back what he had said.  Which meant his friend and fellow Praetor had a better idea of what had happened the night before...even if the talk was going to be about something different, there was now no choice except to follow the line of conversation Elijah had started.  As inappropriate as the boy knew his outburst was, he felt even worse that he had been putting Calix through having to hear him and Jack.  Really, the son of Discordia never realized how much he had taken for granted Calix and Lúth's time until he had betrayed that respect.  And the boy had no idea what to say to any of it.  It was like he and Calix had to...start from the beginning.  Get everything out of the way before they addressed what the older boy had wanted to start with (though Elijah had a feeling it was all interconnected).  Staring for another moment, the Praetor finally figured out how to speak properly.

"Ah...right," Elijah finally managed.  "Of course you didn't.  I don't know why I would have thought otherwise..." the boy's face was shaky as he tried to make things less awkward.  It wasn't going to work...it wasn't going to be easy if it did work.  But he had to try.  Calix was one of the boy's best friends, after all!  Elijah didn't want something like this to put up a wall between them or something.  "Calix..." but where to go after that?  There was a lot to say.  But the boy had no idea where to start.  There had to be a good place to start.  The beginning...the dark haired boy had never been too good at the whole linear thing, so 'beginning' wasn't much to go off of.  Even the fact that Elijah was standing there, speechless, was a testament to the weight of the whole situation.  The young Praetor had always been able to find words.  He had always been good at talking his way out of sticky situations.  But this ran a bit deeper to begin with.  Elijah needed to be a lot more careful right now...the idea of Calix not forgiving him was rather painful...like the the thoughts of losing anyone he loved.  The boy's mind wandered briefly...he was so lucky to have as many people in his life as he did and losing any of them would hurt.  It was like Jack giving up and Elijah not being able to win him in.  Or River seeing the burn on his collarbone and storming out without coming back.  Or Lúth...the boy's sister being kidnapped and being...people.  The people that were constant in Elijah's life and the terrifying thought of them vanishing forever.  The small boy had never had anyone to care about.  He didn't want to lose the few people he had now.

As Calix started speaking again, Elijah felt his face heat up.  "Yes, I, um..." Elijah bit his lip slightly.  "Veniat, obsecro, haec visio nocturna, statim finis..." he ended under his breath in Latin.  Calix pointed out that the walls in the Principia were rather thin...a fact that Elijah already knew and had forgotten in his chaotic, scatterbrained mind.  "I know, Calix," the boy said rather softly for him, his cheeks still burning.  "I knew and I had forgotten...these things don't...stick," a poor excuse, even though it was true.  "And I know I can get rather loud anyway..." always these odd moments.  Elijah had always thought sex was a pretty typical thing for teenage boys to talk about.  At least, that was how the movies always made it seem.  Although being a demigod at Camp Jupiter 2.0 was a bit different than anything out of a mortal movie.  Calix and Elijah were still teenage boys.  Though Elijah wasn't sure there was much beyond that...the two were close friends, but life was different for them in general.  Add in the bit about Calix dating Elijah's sister and the whole thing was kind of off-limits anyway.  Partially because the small boy just didn't want to think about his sister like that, and partially because the Legacy of Bellona was kind of stoic like that.  Elijah trusted his friend to the ends of the earth, but sex wasn't exactly a topic that they could easily discuss.

But they had to figure this out.  And Elijah had to own up to being an inconsiderate jerk.  "I never meant to make things weird or awkward.  I'm rarely thinking about that when..." Elijah had never thought he'd be in a situation like this.  Everything was different and more difficult than the boy would have pictured it.  Thin walls!  Whoever built the Principia was now in major trouble in Elijah's book...why would they build a building like that with thin walls?  And it wasn't exactly like Elijah could visit Jack in the First or Calix could visit Lúth in the Third for this stuff.  That would be even worse.  "It's like...because I don't sleep at night, so Jack just comes over to help me sleep.  But he's Jack, so it's all a lot more than helping me sleep," okay, maybe that made some sense.  The boy didn't have a ton of faith in that one, though.  Looking at Calix, the son of Discordia couldn't help the corner of his mouth from twitching into a half-smile.  "But on the plus side, I am sleeping now.  Maybe we can start with something positive like that."

Calix tried so hard to think of a way to make the conversation as normal and un-awkward as possible. He thought of the ways he could cushion the blow, but what came out turned out to be a lot less sensitive than he’d plan. Maybe if the Legacy had just been teasing his fellow praetor it would have been easier because he knew the other boy would retaliate and they’d end up laughing about it. But actually making Elijah uncomfortable? That was something Calix never felt good about. For the billionth time he found himself regretting bringing up the conversation and almost slinked away into his room, hoping the conversation would evaporate and they’d go about their business as if it never happened. Calix’s feet didn’t move however, and he stood there watching Elijah trying to formulate a response. Ah so that’s what he looked like. He nodded slowly, Elijah attempting to recover from his outburst, stopping a bit after speaking his name. Calix shook his head. “It’s fine, really, I mean… you know…” But Elijah probably didn’t know and neither did Calix. He scratched the side of his nose and looked off in a corner as if something interesting was actually there. Could he leave now? Oh gods. If this is how Elijah reacted when Calix just told him his assumption was wrong, he feared what would happen once he told the other praetor what he really had in mind.

Yikes, there it was. Once Calix mentioned still noticing Jack’s presence, he noticed his friend’s face, usually pale completely fill with the red of a blush. Oh he’d said too much. And that was him trying to say the very least. Elijah trailed off, muttering something that Calix didn’t catch anything of, though he hoped it wasn’t anything negative in his direction. But thankfully, when the praetor mentioned the structuring of the Principia’s walls, he didn’t turn purple and pass out or anything. It seemed that Elijah knew where Calix was heading with the conversation and he responded rather calmly if not in complete embarrassment. Calix still felt horrible for putting the son of Discordia through this. It wasn’t any of his business anyway. He could have taken care of it himself, finding something to drown out the, ah, noises. He nearly interrupted Elijah mid explanation, saying that he’d overstepped and it wouldn’t happen again. Just like his feet however, the words stuck in his throat. He couldn’t take back what he just told Elijah and could only hope that they’d handle it as professionally as they handled their paperwork and other affairs. Calix never knew another way to handle such sensitive topics but with the same demeanor he handled everything else. Of course the praetor was no stranger to the way other boys their age talked about such things, he did have an old friend who wouldn’t hesitate to assume a more childish and inappropriate roll in the conversation. But for some reason he knew that this wouldn’t apply to him and Elijah. They were much too serious, or at least that’s what Calix told himself.

And Elijah’s reasoning made Calix feel even worse. He needed Jack to sleep. Just like Lúthien needed him to sleep. Calix also should have taken Jack’s parentage into account. Dating a son of Venus had to entail some sort of action other than sleeping. Of course. He was idiotic to think otherwise. Calix’s face was also pretty red at this point, but he offered a smile when his friend decided to reset the conversation and take them back to a more comfortable subject of conversation. Just the fact that Elijah could sleep again. Something that he knew got pretty difficult at times with all that had happened and the nightmares that went along with that. Calix ran a hand through his hair. Maybe he needed another crash course in tact. “That’s good,” he said as a start. “I…. ah. I’m glad he can help you like that. It is hard at times…. with the nightmares.” Oh  gods, what else he could say? Obviously Elijah knew that end of the deal. “Sorry for even bringing it up.” Calix tried for a friendly laugh. “I should have connected those dots on my own.”