Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

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Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Tue Sep 01, 2015 5:34 pm

August 25th, 2015

"Everybody leaves me!  Why does everyone leave me?" despite the angry tone of voice, Elijah's face was buried in his best friend's shoulder as he sobbed.  The news from Jack still felt devastating...as soon as the man had told his boyfriend that he would be moving rom camp to Manhattan, the small boy had lost it.  He hadn't been able to say anything...just stare at Jack with his jaw on the ground for a couple minutes.  And then he ran.  Because he was furious, and in pain and...the only person who could make it better was his best friend.  Elijah had arrived at the Second Cohort barrack about thirty seconds before River did.  He was pretty sure she just followed him after his burst of extreme emotions...those tended to register on their connection thing she had, even if she wasn't in her meditative bubble.  It was one of those things that was a curse and a blessing.  River knew...River always knew.  She was always right there for Elijah...even those times where the boy wished she didn't know right away.  This wasn't one of those times...the quicker his best friend got to him, the better.

It wasn't simple...none of it was simple.  And Elijah had no idea what it meant.  Why was Jack moving?  Was he tired of the small boy?  Was this some sort of hidden message that Jack needed a break?  He wanted to be apart?  It was most likely that the boy was just reading too much into this.  After all, Jack was twenty-one now.  That was pretty...well...adult.  Needing to get away from camp didn't mean he needed to get away from his boyfriend.  The son of Discordia had to stop making assumptions like that.  The fact that it hurt wasn't a good reason to completely lose his head.  But Elijah, being Elijah and all, had completely lost his head.  And that was exactly why he needed to just run from his boyfriend and to his best friend.  At some point, the boy would be able to sit down and talk to Jack about it all...but that point definitely wouldn't come until he had sorted through all of it with River.

River couldn't get angry at Jack.  After all, she had gone off to the mortal world for a short time, too.  And with the worst possible timing, so she just had to be a support...no trash-talking the son of Venus.  Elijah had faith she could do that...there had to be some degree of understanding there.  If not...well, the boy wasn't entirely sure where else to go.  He could scream into his pillow.  Punch the walls some, though that had been more inconvenient that anything last time.  There was a painful lurch in his stomach...maybe he was just being a drama queen.  No one liked dealing with a drama queen.  Though the daughter of Trivia had definitely seen him through much, much worse.  This wasn't the worst...not by a long shot, but Elijah knew his best friend didn't try and gauge these things like that.  All she saw was her best friend in pain...and she just made it better.  There was always something so comforting, even before the two were able to start talking.  And that was just where they were at the moment, Elijah clinging tightly to her shirt while sobbing in her shoulder, with her arms holding him close.  Physicality was always fine with River...something that the small boy had often thought would be hard for most others.  He had never been much of a touchy-feely person...obviously it was different with Jack, but even with River it was just how it should be.  That was all part of the package.

Gripping the girl's shirt tighter, Elijah hiccuped as he tried to calm his crying.  How long had he even been crying?  When had he run from his boyfriend?  A couple minutes?  A couple hours?  A couple days?  Time suddenly didn't seem to make much sense...though the boy figured that was all a part of crying like he had been.  Oh Gods, he really was being a total drama queen.  His little hiccups felt sort of enlightening...he would know if things were bad with Jack.  If it was Elijah's fault the man was leaving, or if Jack was looking for something different or...whatever.  The two had too good a relationship for it to be anything like that.  They communicated everything, and had tried being broken up...a time that didn't work even in the slightest.  The son of Venus just needed to go off.  He'd be back for breaks and all...and when the son of Discordia was ready, he would leave camp, too.  The two knew that they were meant to be together forever...they had planned plenty of their life after camp.  They were just...moving on at different times.

But it still hurt.  "I hate him," Elijah managed dully.  Of course he didn't hate Jack...it was just the pain of something so massive being sprung on him out of nowhere.  Or so it seemed.  "I thought we'd move at the same time...I don't..." he hiccuped again, countless fears flooding his body and mind.  "How am I going to sleep?  How am I going to go without sex?  Why is he doing this?" stupid questions, really.  But Elijah just had to force it all out.  "What if he meets someone there he loves more than me?" an unfounded fear, but something the boy couldn't shake.  It seemed so undoable after the two had been together all the time the past two and some years.  The unknown was the impossible...and Elijah was terrified.

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Re: Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

Post by River Halvorson on Thu Sep 03, 2015 11:27 am

River sighed and snapped her book shut.  If she was getting that strong of an emotional burst without even being connected to her mental network, shit had definitely hit the fan.  She couldn’t even fathom a guess as to what had put her best friend in such a state, but she knew Elijah would come looking for her sooner or later.  If he was that distraught, he was probably on his way already.  The daughter of Trivia stuffed the book under her arm and made her way out of the library.  As much as she wanted to stay there in the peace and quiet, she knew that just wasn’t possible.  Elijah would be searching for her in the second cohort barracks.  It was the first place he always went when he needed her for something.  The girl was tempted to push an image of the library over to Elijah so that he would come to her, but she knew that was a terrible idea on multiple levels.  To begin with, actually reaching out to the son of Discordia’s mind when he was in such a state would spell disaster for her.  River shuddered at the thought of the shock his emotions would have on her system.  Besides that, she knew her best friend.  He wouldn’t be thinking clearly enough to put two and two together.  There was no way he would recognize the library as a place to go looking for her.  Finally, River knew serious discussions were never good to have in the library.  One of the first and last discussions the pair had shared there resulted in River accidentally burning a few small holes in the carpet.  It was better just to go back to the barracks where the two of them would get in less trouble for causing any sort of disruption.

As she walked, the daughter of Trivia slowly blew her pixie blue mental bubble.  She loved her best friend to death, but she needed to protect herself, too.  The idea of Elijah’s emotions affecting her still made her shiver.  She needed to keep a calm, cool head about it all, and she really didn’t want Elijah’s feelings to short-circuit her own brain.  It wasn’t that the daughter of Trivia was incapable of feeling emotions.  She just didn’t feel them quite as strongly as Elijah did.  She knew from experience that too much of a connection with him could hurt her, and she didn’t particularly want to fry her brain trying to look out for someone else.  The better option was to put up a protective shield around herself, so she could listen and sympathize without getting too deep.  The imaginary pixie blue bubble was the beginning of her shield, but River tweaked it as she walked.  She wove in the blue blanket threads she had grown accustomed to, tugging gently here and there to make sure they were solid.  She added an armored shell to the outside to make sure Elijah wouldn’t be able to crack it if he started radiating too badly.  Finally, she sucked the bubble in, imagining it settling around her being like an extra layer of skin.  It was just enough to keep the son of Discordia from getting to her, and it would keep her from accidentally discharging magic if she got upset.

Just as she approached the barrack, River spotted Elijah slipping through the door.  She took a deep breath before following him in, knowing she would need all the logic and sense she could gather to deal with this one.  She caught up to him just as he reached her bunk, and the boy instantly collapsed in her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.  She sighed softly and guided him down to the mattress before his grief had a chance to drag both of them to the ground.  River sat with her feet firmly planted on the ground, but Elijah curled up at her side, face buried in her shoulder, hands gripping her t-shirt, combat boots dropping dirt on her bedspread.  The girl loved Elijah, but sometimes he made himself a little too at home.  Shaking her head slightly, she simply held him, waiting for him to speak.  When he did, it was only a handful of words, spoken angrily around his sobs.  Everybody leaves me.  Oh.  It was that kind of upset.  River wasn’t going to admit it to Elijah, but Jack had already told her he was contemplating a move to the city for the next school year.  Apparently he had now brought it up with Elijah, who was not handling it well.  The girl knew she just needed to let Elijah sob for a while.  There was no way he would listen to any sense at the state he was in, and she had a feeling he wasn’t yet done with his words.  He probably had a few more things to say.  He just couldn’t speak and cry at the same time.

When the son of Discordia finally calmed down enough to say his piece, River took a deep, grounding breath.  She knew what she needed to say this time, but Elijah wasn’t going to like it.  If he had come in search of comfort, he was about to be sadly disappointed.  River could find nothing to give him but a bit of tough love.  “You don’t hate him,” she stated plainly.  “Don’t say things you don’t mean.  If Venus hears you, she might just take Jack away from you.  Now…I’m going to put this bluntly.  Life isn’t a fairytale, Li.  We all imagine life is going to turn out one way, but it rarely does.  All we can do is suck it up, get over it, and appreciate the things we do have.  Jack is doing this because he’s a big boy and he can make his own decisions.  He is not leaving you.  I’ve never known him to beat around the bush.  If he was leaving, he would have said, ‘Elijah, I don’t want to be with you anymore.’  He wouldn’t have said, ‘I’m moving to Manhattan.’  Maybe he just wants to try something new for a while.  I imagine he would have explained it if you had stuck around to listen to him.”  River paused, trying hard not to glare at her best friend.  Part of knowing him so well included knowing his habits.  One such habit was running away when he got scared, usually well before anybody even had an opportunity to ease those fears.  If Elijah was this worked up, it meant he hadn’t even given Jack a chance, which was highly unfair to the son of Venus.  Before Elijah could say anything else, the daughter of Trivia continued on her tirade.  “As for how you’re going to sleep, you’ll do it the same as always.  You’ll crawl in bed, you’ll toss and turn a bit, you’ll eventually drift off.  End of story.  And sex…There’s more to a relationship than just sex, Li.  You survived…what?  Seventeen years without it?  You can survive a few more months.  And if you ever think Jack could meet somebody he loves more than you, you’re a bigger idiot than I thought you were.  Believe me when I say Jack loves you more than anything in this world.”

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Re: Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Wed Sep 09, 2015 6:14 pm

In many ways, Elijah was very grateful that he and his best friend had completely opposite ways of dealing with things.  That was a lot of how they worked so well...River knew how to keep calm, no matter how emotional and dramatic the boy got.  After all, the son of Discordia was mostly governed by emotions and ruled by chaos.  It took a super special friend to deal with that sort of thing...another reason Elijah was so grateful for River.  She held him when he needed that, and gave it to him straight when he needed that.  Hiccuping, the small boy took off his glasses and put them to the side.  They were starting to dig into his nose...something very uncomfortable.  And it wasn't like he needed them at the moment.  Elijah felt like he was breathing a bit easier now.  River could definitely sense it as well...she always could with her best friend.  If it was anyone else, Elijah would hate the intrusive nature of the whole thing, but never with River.  On the contrary, the boy was mostly grateful for it.

"Of course I don't hate him," Elijah sighed.  As per usual, River's level headed and blunt nature was clearing away the fog in the boy's head.  Sure, her words would probably sting at first...but the daughter of Trivia would probably be right.  She was, a lot more often than not.  As the girl spoke, Elijah clenched his hands, knowing that, even if he didn't want to hear out his best friend, he needed to hear out his best friend.  After all, he wouldn't have gone to her if he wanted to be coddled and babied...subconsciously or not.  This was a general fact that both of them knew.  And besides, when River needed Elijah, she needed his means of coping.  The two definitely had a perfectly balanced relationship.

Elijah sniffed.  "I want a fairy tale," the boy said darkly.  That was sort of how it had always felt with Jack.  From the start, their relationship had felt so...unreal.  But now this was happening, and the boy felt like someone had decided his life was too perfect...and something had to be done about that.  But of course, River knew.  And of course, her words hit hard...but the girl knew how to deal with her best friend.  As much as Elijah hated that at times, he was also thankful for it.  "Suck it up?  I'm pretty sure I don't have a choice," that was definitely the 'sad but true' fact.  "But that doesn't mean I'm going to like it," the boy added stubbornly.  If this was how he was going to get through...so be it.  Despite everything else, the son of Discordia's stubborn and defiant nature usually resulted in a strong face off to a challenge.  The hard part was dealing with the initial explosion of emotions.  It was like a dangerous fire...and thank the Gods, River knew exactly how to extinguish it.

More and more, Elijah was breathing better.  "I just...I know it's his decision, Riv," the boy said in earnest.  "But he just...sprang it on me.  I had absolutely no idea, and then he...dropped the bomb," the boy was pretty sure he would have dealt better if Jack had said he was considering going to Manhattan, or that sort of thing.  Not this whole I'm leaving in two weeks bullshit.  Even thinking about it made Elijah angry again.  "I mean leaving me physically," the boy said through gritted teeth.  "I'm not that clueless...I know how much he loves me.  I just..." he sighed.  River was helping clear Elijah's head...but even in that he felt more and more exhausted.  "He told me the wrong way," the boy mumbled stubbornly.  "What did he expect, telling me the way he did?" he refused to be the only one at fault here.  "It was best to run...I'm not ready to listen," Elijah admitted, feeling tears dripping down his cheeks again.

As much as Elijah knew he was being a drama queen, he had to be feeling something.  Bottling emotions was bad news for a child of chaos.  The boy had seen and felt it too many times.  "I'm scared," Elijah said in a small voice.  "I know he would never find someone else...I've never felt good enough...stupid, unfounded fear as it may be..." the boy sniffed, holding on tighter to River's shirt, but looking up at her.  Her face was blurry without her glasses on, but that was a silly detail at this point.  "But you know what the worst part is, Riv?  I'm going to be here- in a familiar place.  I'll have you and my other friends...but Jack will be in a strange place with no one.  I'm scared for myself...but more scared for him," well at least he had pointed out that his motives weren't purely selfish about himself.  Either way, he wanted River to know there was so much more to all of it.  Hopefully that helped at least a little.[/color]

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Re: Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

Post by River Halvorson on Mon Sep 14, 2015 7:11 pm

Just as soon as River finished ranting, Elijah managed to find the grace to respond, though his answers came in fits and bouts.  His mind jumped from one spot to another, but River really couldn’t blame him.  She had responded to everything in one long string without giving him a chance to defend himself at all.  With how completely chaotic Elijah’s mind typically was, it was a bit of a miracle that he was sticking to River’s outline at all.  On the bright side, at least his tears were slowing, reduced to little more than sobs and hiccupping sighs.  That made it a lot easier for the daughter of Trivia to understand her best friend, and in return, to answer his words.  He clearly wasn’t thrilled with her assessment of the situation, but given the dark, defeated tone, River could tell he was conceding to her.  It was the same tone he always had when he knew she was right, but really didn’t want to admit it.  It didn’t matter if Elijah was clear-headed or bawling his eyes out.  The tone begrudgingly accepted that the daughter of Trivia was seeing the situation in a better light than Elijah was seeing it.  Maybe it wasn’t a shining, yellow light, but it was at least more reasonable.

As the son of Discordia blathered on, River took the time to address each of his points, though she tried to keep her replies short.  She had already given him enough of her mind.  It was time to let him say what he needed to, but at the same time, the daughter of Trivia needed to call him out on any bullshit ideas he still held.  Of course, with Elijah being the hopelessly romantic dreamer that he was, one such idea came up nearly immediately.  And, of course, being the hopelessly romantic dreamer that he was, he wanted a fairy tale.  “Fairy tales don’t end well, Elijah,” River countered.  “Somebody almost always dies or ends up in a coma or runs away.  And if it doesn’t end up like that, ‘happily ever after’ usually means one person gave up their entire life for somebody else.  Face it, neither you nor Jack would be happy with that.”  Though the daughter of Trivia had to admit that she still didn’t know Jack super well, she did know Elijah.  And she knew that he would be miserable if either of them gave up too much of their autonomy for the other.  The two of them worked well together, but they were both strong-minded individuals.  They needed to pursue their own hopes and dreams in addition to what they worked towards together.

At Elijah’s next words, River simply nodded and reiterated his own thoughts.  “You’re right.  You might not like it, but you don’t have a choice.  This is just the way it is.”  And it was true.  As Elijah so clearly pointed out, the move was Jack’s decision.  Whether he liked it or not, he had to deal with the fact that things would be different for a little while.  At least he understood that Jack loved him, but his own views seemed to be keeping him from understanding the way Jack saw the conversation.  River sighed, trying to find the best way to explain it.  “Look, Jack isn’t like you,” she started.  “You have a way with words.  You know how to express yourself verbally.  You talk things through before doing them.  Jack doesn’t know how to do that.  He just acts.  You’re…  ‘Think before you speak’ is you.  ‘Actions speak louder than words’ is Jack.  I’m not saying it’s all your fault, but the two of you need to learn how to listen to each other.  Whether you like it or not, that’s how he told you.  You can’t just run away and deal with it later.  You need to listen to what he has to say, and then make him listen when you tell him that isn’t the right way to go about it.  That’s the only way you two will get anywhere.”

River paused to make sure Elijah wasn’t going to get mad at her, too.  Sometimes she was a little too candid with her words, but she usually didn’t see it until it was too late.  She hoped this wasn’t one of those times because if Elijah ran from her, too, he’d spend the next week avoiding them both while he tried to sort through his thoughts.  Thankfully, he didn’t run, but instead poured out his fears.  As he spoke, River absently rubbed his arm, hoping the physical contact would keep him calm.  She contemplated his words, carefully crafting her answer to stay within her vow of secrecy.  “Elijah…whether you think you’re good enough or not is moot.  Jack thinks you’re more than good enough.  He’s…very open about a lot of things.  The fact that he’s with you and has been monogamous with you for more than two years is a really big deal for him.  If he didn’t think you were good enough, he would have left a long time ago.  As for that ‘worst part,’ I think Jack will be okay out there.  I know it’s unfamiliar and he won’t know anybody immediately, but he’ll make friends.  He’s a son of Venus, for gods’ sakes.  He’s charming, charismatic…bit of a pain in the ass, too, but that’s beside the point.”  River offered a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit.  “He’ll be okay.  Jack knows where to go and who to talk to.  Give it a week, and he’ll have plenty of friends near him.”

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Re: Inside A Boy ((River Halvorson)) [PG-13: L, S]

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