Forgive My Mistakes [Elijah Emmanual]

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Forgive My Mistakes [Elijah Emmanual]

Post by Will Solace on Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:39 pm

River sighed as she stared up at the bottom of the bunk above her. She had made a mistake, and a very costly one at that. The last time she had seen her best friend had ended horribly. She didn’t trust Elijah’s boyfriend. No matter what Elijah relayed to her about Jack’s words and actions, she had never trusted the son of Venus herself. How could she? Jack had hurt her best friend over and over again. Elijah said he had changed, that he was different, that they loved each other, but River had a hard time believing it. After everything else Jack had done, how could he really, truly love Elijah? River had been in relationships before. They had never quite gotten to the point of “I love you,” but that was probably why she took those words so seriously. She wanted it to mean something for her when it was finally said. She knew it was unreasonable to want that for someone else, but she cared so much about Elijah. She just wanted him happy and properly cared for. Could Jack really care for her best friend in that way?

As it turned out…he could. River had been so, so wrong about Jack. She had gone against all of her own values and probed deep into Jack’s mind, but that was the only way she could believe him. Words made her wary and cautious. People said things that they didn’t always mean. “I love you” fell into that serious category that the daughter of Trivia was especially careful about. She only trusted words so far. As much as it went against her own morals and ethical codes, working her mental magic on Jack was the only way she could really, truly trust him. Nobody could hide the thoughts they held within. They could try. They could shield them with other thoughts on the surface, but deep down, the real intent was always there. River knew that accessing Jack’s real intent in that way was the only way she’d be able to believe him. And with the ultimatum Elijah had put on her, she had to do it. She deserved what Elijah had said to her, but having him pick his boyfriend over her had hurt. After probing through Jack’s mind, though, she understood why.

Pushing herself up, she crossed her legs and started picking at the threads in her blanket. She hadn’t talked to Elijah in almost a week. Sure, she had gone to see Jack immediately after leaving Elijah’s room, but she had been so embarrassed and so upset that she hadn’t returned to see Elijah. Instead, she had holed herself up in her barrack, taking several days to herself to sort through the whole mess she had gotten into. She knew she needed to talk to Elijah and admit her mistake, but how was she supposed to do that? With everything that had happened, a simple “I’m sorry” didn’t feel like enough. She had to try somehow, though. Standing, she headed out of her barrack and towards the Principia. That was one of the good things about Elijah being a Praetor. He was almost always in the Principia, which meant River always knew where to find him. Pushing open the door, she was both grateful and a bit nervous to find him in the main room, head bent over a large stack of papers. Carefully, she formed the thoughts in her mind. “I’m sorry, Li. I made a huge mistake. I should have believed you. Forgive me? Please?” She pushed the thoughts, praying her mental magic had grown strong enough for Elijah to hear her.

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Re: Forgive My Mistakes [Elijah Emmanual]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:32 pm

Whether River realized it or not, Elijah had been suffering pretty bad the week without his best friend.  If she even was his best friend anymore.  The healing burn under his right collarbone seemed to burn painfully again whenever the boy thought about the whole mess.  At this point, the boy was pretty sure he shouldn't have said what he did...it had been mostly out of anger that he had snapped at River that she was making him choose between her and Jack.  Maybe that was just how he had interpreted the whole thing, though the fact of the matter was that his best friend had never approved of Elijah dating Jack.  The small boy had been anticipating a choice from the beginning...but he had no idea it would be like this.  The past few months had gone suspiciously smoothly, even though Elijah could never be with his boyfriend and best friend at the same time.  He had spent a really long time hoping that River would warm up to Jack...tolerate him, at least.  But that hadn't happened and the small boy had been forced into that impossible decision.  He was in the wrong, although he couldn't figure out how his reasoning had led him to be.  If River couldn't believe Elijah's words because of her own prejudices, the small boy couldn't keep going.  In some ways, he got her anger.  She had every right to have issues with Jack...at the beginning.  Over the past four months, though, Elijah was pretty sure his boyfriend had earned some degree of forgiveness.  The son of Venus had changed...a lot!  But River couldn't see that...and as horrible as the son of Discordia felt about it all, he was definitely angry at the daughter of Trivia.  What kind of best friend was she if she couldn't even trust her best friend?  It just didn't make any sense to Elijah, and he was usually good at grasping the things that didn't make sense.  The chaos inside him bubbled up nearly painfully.  Sense, reason...none of it worked correctly for him right now.

The past week, Elijah had mostly been keeping to himself.  Aside from seeing Calix nearly every day, the boy was putting up a pretty hefty wall.  He wasn't spending as much time with Jack as usual...the guilt of choosing his boyfriend over his best friend was eating away at the boy.  And as much as he tried to convince himself it had been the right move, his heart wasn't in it.  River had been the first person to bulldoze through Elijah's walls.  She was the one that had even made it possible for him to let Jack in.  And this was a terrible way to repay her.  "Ego sum pessima aut amicus boyfriend vel pessimum," the boy mumbled in Latin as he shut the door to his room and sullenly trekked down the hall to the main room of the Principia.  "Ego autem sciebam quia semper me monstrum..." he added, reaching the main room to see it empty.  Calix must have gone out for the day...maybe to see Lúth or something.  As ecstatic as Elijah was that his sister was back, her memory loss (and mainly remembering the negative between the two siblings) was a lot to manage at times.  At least Calix and his sister seemed to be recovering from the blow.  That was something to be happy about.  "Hurrah," the boy said sarcastically under his breath as he tugged on the door to find it locked.  His friend had definitely gone out...even though the older boy was coming back into his Praetor responsibilities well enough, there were still days where Elijah found himself staring down paperwork by himself again.  He mostly didn't mind it, but the silence the past week had led to him thinking too much about everything that was going on.

Sitting in his seat at the long table, Elijah glanced at the paperwork piled up.  He didn't want to deal with this...maybe it was time to go find River.  Talk to her, figure out everything that went wrong and make it right.  The week of holing up and thinking so much about whether his best friend was his best friend anymore was torture.  Volatile as ever, the boy's emotions had been bouncing.  On one hand, he just wanted to see the older girl again so they could fix everything.  On the other hand, he was angry at the girl for not trusting him to the point of walking away.  There had been tears...lots of tears stemming from every imaginable emotion.  Returning to the lack of sleep- Elijah hadn't let Jack sleep over since River had walked away.  It was Elijah's fault.  It was River's fault.  It was both of theirs faults.  Who knew at this point?  But the girl hadn't come looking for Elijah, so she must have been extremely angry.  The son of Discordia really wasn't hard to find...he spent most of his days in the Principia.  Even when he was upset and hiding, his radiation tended to leave a trail.  Beyond all that, the boy's best friend had some odd mental link with Elijah because of her magic.  Unless she had somehow cut that connection, that would easily lead her to the small boy.  After what happened with Jack, the small boy had decided he wouldn't sit around wallowing in his angst if something like that happened again.  Here it had, with River, and he was sitting around wallowing in his angst rather than being proactive and finding the daughter of Trivia.  "This is different," the boy said to no one, resisting the urge to start banging his head against the table.

He had been hearing River's voice the past week or so.  Over and over, always saying different things.  And there it was again...but something was off this time.  Wait…no, nothing was off…the past imaginings had been off.  This was River…she was in his head…she was there!  Elijah's head snapped up when he heard the words in his head...I’m sorry, Li. I made a huge mistake. I should have believed you. Forgive me? Please?  Bright blue eyes boring a hole into River, the boy wasn't sure how to respond.  His first instinct was to hop over the table and tackle his best friend in a hug...but there was something holding him back.  An anger that had been nagging at him...River hadn't trusted his words.  She had walked out on him despite the fact that they probably could have talked through it all...no, Elijah had given the ultimatum.  Still, anger.  Red lining his peripheral vision.  She was giving a peace offering...a huge mistake...forgive me...please...the boy felt ready to burst from the chaotic tangling of emotions that had taken over.  River was his best friend, and the boy still had to hold back from shouting.  From letting the anger take over...anger was Elijah's default emotion.  That was just how he was.  River was his best friend, though!  All the cruel words the small boy was ready to throw at her had to be contained.  "So let the monster speak..." Elijah whispered, looking down at the desk for a moment before looking back up to River.  "I won't just dole out forgiveness," he finally said softly.  "But you're my best friend, and the past week has been hell," this wasn't going to be quick and painless..."We need to talk this through...now."

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