Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

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Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Thu Apr 11, 2013 5:47 pm

Jack stared at the chocolate cake—the vegan chocolate cake—before him and wondered what the heck he was doing. Oh, right. He was moving on. He was letting Elijah know that he finally saw that he wasn’t wanted. But he was doing it in a way that showed Elijah he really had cared about him all along. He really did want to get with the boy. But if Elijah didn’t want him…it was time to let go, move on, and find someone else. What was he clinging to, anyway? Vain hope? A part of him had seen it since the beginning. Elijah was a boy who knew what he wanted, and Jack wasn’t it. The larger part of him, though, had clung to the hope that he might be able to change the boy’s mind. Clearly, he had failed. Now it was time for him to just give up, move on, and find someone who actually wanted him. Jack knew that was easier said than done. The boys at home wanted him for his sex. That wasn’t so bad, but in the end, Jack actually wanted somebody. He wanted somebody to love, somebody to care for, and somebody who truly loved him.

Sighing and shaking the thoughts from his head, he spun the plate around to make sure he had frosted the whole cake. Of course, it was as impeccably done as ever, but still. He wanted this one to be perfect. Just…just… He sighed again. He really didn’t know why. He just knew it had to be right this time. Flipping open to the bookmarked page in the Latin book, he read the English note scrawled in the margins once again. Vegan (damn Roman meat eating Barbarians who had no word for vegan) That was all Jack had to go off of in making his cake. He hoped he was right in assuming that the note meant Elijah himself was vegan. Quite honestly, Jack had no idea what vegan included, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try. He had spent hours in the library, looking up recipes for vegan cakes, cupcakes, cheesecakes, and everything else. In the end, he had selected three recipes in the hopes that at least one of them would turn out okay. The fauns had been a bit less willing to help him out this time, but after agreeing to pay them well, they had gone into the city to get him all the ingredients he needed. The first cake had been absolutely horrible. It was like when a kindergartener couldn’t eat peanuts, so a parent gave them the peanut butter substitute. Everybody could tell right away that it wasn’t the real thing. The second cake wasn’t so bad, but it wasn’t great, either. The third cake actually tasted like a real chocolate cake. Jack double, triple, and quadruple checked his ingredients to make sure it was still truly vegan. Even then, he didn’t have a lot of faith. He prayed he got it right.

Pushing the cake to the side, he pulled the notebook and pen closer. Now came the hard part. As much as Jack needed to move on, he knew he didn’t have the strength to tell Elijah in person. He could leave a letter with the cake. That, he could manage. Flipping open to a clean page, he picked up the pen and scratched across the top,

Felix Dies Natalis

Spero Cupio Screw it. I can’t learn the Latin without your help. Everybody says you know it the best and that you’re the best teacher. When I came looking for you, I really did want to learn. I don’t know what happened with things, but you really hurt me. I get that I can be a jerk sometimes. Trust me, I do, but I don’t know how else to be. I’ve never been somebody special or somebody that anybody really cares about. If I’m not a jerk, if I don’t let it all roll right off of me, how am I supposed to survive? I’ve tried to let your words and actions roll off my back, but I can’t do it. You’ve actually hit me pretty deep. Maybe it’s time for me to move on. Maybe it’s time for both of us to move on. Good-bye, Elijah.

P.S. Aprilis XI, MCMXCVI (Didici numerorum)

Jack added the P.S. almost as an afterthought, but he wanted Elijah to know he really was trying. Still, as hard as he worked, he couldn’t figure out much beyond the fill-in-the-blank birthday page that Elijah had filled out. That was where Jack had gotten his birth date, April 11th, from. As for the year, it had taken Jack a lot longer to figure that out. Thankfully, the book had the school year on the front cover, and the birthday page said how old Elijah was turning that year. Jack had done the math from that point and figured out that Elijah was turning seventeen this year.

Jack reread his letter before folding it up and sticking it in his pocket. Well, it was now or never. He picked up the cake and made his way over to the Principia. He had no idea if Elijah was there this time or not. If he was, hopefully he’d see the cake before he stepped on it. If he wasn’t, hopefully he’d see it when he returned. Jack entered the building and stood off to the side for a moment before approaching Elijah’s door. He set the cake on the floor, shoved the letter under the edge of the plate, and knocked on the door. Before he could see if Elijah was home or not, he stuck his hands in his jeans pockets, turned on his heel, and headed back out of the Principia.
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Thu Apr 11, 2013 6:32 pm

Perditus. A title deemed more apropos for Lúth, but Lúth wasn't there and Elijah felt it fit him quite snuggly these days. And as the boy paced his room, he knew there wasn't much to do about it all. Everyone was gone now, and he was ruined. Elijah Perditus. Elijah Solitarius. A boy, just a boy. Survived another year. Maybe next birthday someone would be there to hold his hand, to kiss him, to hold him...someone would bake him a cake. Eighteen was different than seventeen. Seventeen was a year. Eighteen was an adult. "I am an adult," the boy said glumly. The feeling was inescapable. Lúth was gone...Elijah had become Calix's keeper. Elijah had become the one running the Legion, joint effort be damned. And the boy was slowly crumbling too. Something had to happen, and it had to happen quickly. "I have made it another year," the boy sighed softly. "Jolly. Can't wait to see how the universe continues to screw with me," a humorless snort...and a yawn. So tired. As if the insomnia wasn't bad enough, when Elijah did get sleep, it was riddled with nightmares. He would wake up screaming, not that there was anyone who would wake with him. Calix slept on...the son of Discordia would hear him continue to snore. Just another sound. Perhaps he should go check on Calix...paperwork was piling up on the table in the main room of the Principia, and it had to get done eventually. He would peek in as he walked by...what would he see but darkness, though? And he could hear his fellow Praetor's snoring, the older boy was alive. The great Roman Empire had fallen. How long until they did, too?

Quiet...so quiet aside from the soft snores. With a deep breath, Elijah steeled himself. He couldn't think like that. There may not have been too many of them left, but Elijah would not let them down. No matter what it took, even if he had to do it by himself forever. It would keep him out of trouble...no more thrown punches or broken bones. Leaving scars on cheekbones of...that knock! It was different, but the same...and it was Jack's. Maybe Elijah hadn't messed up as badly as he thought, or Jack was willing to talk, or...hell, what did it even matter? Maybe Elijah could turn this birthday around...turn everything around! With a deep breath, Elijah yanked the door opening, feeling a smile for the first time in ages. But it fell quickly. No one was there, least of all Jack. "I have taken too long, haven't I?" the boy whispered, sliding down against the doorframe...and...that was weird. Turning his head, Elijah saw that, no, his eyes weren't deceiving him. There was a cake there, a perfectly frosted chocolate cake. "Happy birthday," the boy said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Who could possibly frost a cake that perfectly? It was completely perfect. Tilting his head slightly, Elijah noticed something else...a note shoved under the plate. Brows creasing slightly, Elijah carefully tugged the note out and unfolded it, reading it quickly. A second time, more slowly, breaths getting more and more shallow.

No time to lose...he could be halfway across camp by now! Breathe...oh Gods, Elijah, breathe! His head was spinning, and everything was spinning and the boy couldn't breathe. Words...drifting off the paper...move on...goodbye...his chest was tight. Letting the note fall, Elijah took a shaky breath and stood on shaky legs. "I can't let you leave..." the boy whispered, chest heaving. "Not until I've said my piece..." running...the long hall to the main room, pushing open the doors to the Principia. "Just let me speak," Jack's retreating form, a slumped back. "You can say goodbye when you know how I feel..." Elijah took a deep breath, hoping he could shout. Hoping that everyone could hear. "Jack, stop!" But when it came out, it was barely anything. Jack wouldn't hear. And it really would be goodbye.

_________________



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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:31 pm

As Jack walked away, shoulders slumped, head hung low, he tried to figure out why he felt so miserable. In a way, he was freeing himself. He was letting himself move on, find someone better, find someone who actually cared about him. But then he realized what it was. He had been holding out hope that something might actually change, that he might find he really was good for more than just a one-night stand. He had let himself down, though. The short time he had spent with Elijah had shown that he wasn’t cut out to be a boyfriend. He was a flirt, that was all. A terrible, dirty flirt who probably couldn’t say anything even remotely sweet and romantic if his life depended on it. He shook his head sadly and pulled a hand out of his pocket just long enough to push open the door of the Principia.

That was when he heard it. “Jack, stop!” It was barely audible, but still there. The boy faltered, one foot out the door, his hand still on the wood. No. He couldn’t. No matter what Elijah had to say, it was time for Jack to move on. The younger boy had hurt him deeply the last time they had met. Jack couldn’t just forget that happened and keep chasing after Elijah. The Praetor had pushed Jack away again and again. That was the final straw. That was the wake-up call, the ‘hello! He doesn’t want you!’ It was time to just give up. Collecting his thoughts, Jack pushed the door open the rest of the way and stepped out. He had to go. Now. Out in the open air, he picked up the pace a little, hoping and praying that Elijah wouldn’t chase him down.
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:28 pm

How much sleep had Elijah gotten the past week or so? It couldn't have been much...despite the fact that the boy went out running early each morning, everything was kind of blurry. Or were those tears? Who cared? Of course, combat boots were also much more difficult to run in than running shoes. None of it mattered...all that mattered was that he caught up with Jack and made the older boy listen. Every time Elijah had been hurt...a nasty word or two...a scraped knee...a denial, a lie, running the mile in middle school...the boy's life was made up of hurt, of pain. There was absolutely no way he would endure that any more. A stolen first kiss...feeling like nothing could possibly hurt more than that. A moment. A moment that became another moment. It stretched on...chaos was never still, always a surprise. No one had ever hurt Elijah the way Jack had, but the son of Discordia's life had never made much sense anyway. Who the hell cared if Jack had hurt him...the boy had hurt Jack. And this was where that ended. This was where everything changed. A deep breath...his feet were in so much pain, but Elijah wouldn't stop. He couldn't. A moment...Jack had heard him. A moment that became another moment...Jack faltered. Another moment...and Jack kept walking. It didn't matter anymore. No more pain...Elijah pushed himself. No sleep...feet aching so badly the boy didn't think he'd be able to walk for a bit.

Jack had longer legs, but Elijah was small and light. "What part of stop don't you understand?" Elijah all but screamed. Another few steps, connecting moments...a keen moment. And it worked. Sometimes the most chaotic surprise was the one that worked. The right force, the right momentum...a perfect distance. Elijah wrapped his arms tight around Jack's midsection, pulling the son of Venus back against him while digging his heels into the dirt path. Thank the Gods for combat boots! No matter how much pressure Elijah could have put into it, running shoes never would have been able to weigh the two demigods down in place the way Elijah's combat boots could. A few heavy breaths, and Elijah opened his mouth. Not Latin, not Latin! Not that it mattered...all that came out were harsh words. "I hope you're listening, loverboy, because if you don't listen and do what I say, you will find yourself in immense amounts of pain, got it? I'm going to let go...just turn around and look at me. I'll grab you again if you run, and this time, I won't let go," deep heavy breaths and tears...they had been blurring his eyes up earlier and in the stillness they were falling. Each moment brought another option, and Elijah's head was spinning again. This was his last chance...probably ever. "You're not allowed to say goodbye until I say so, Jack. Turn around...if it's goodbye, it's goodbye on my terms."

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:02 pm

Shouted words, a few seconds of quiet, and then Jack stumbled forward as the smaller boy attacked him, latching onto his midsection, pinning his arms to his sides. Jack struggled to stay upright, but thankfully, Elijah didn’t seem too intent on knocking him over. Jack felt himself being pulled backwards into Elijah, the son of Discordia working to keep them both upright. On an earlier day, in an earlier time, Jack would have loved to be in that position with the boy, but now, he just wanted Elijah to let him go. He wanted to be able to move on, as much physically as any other way. He wanted to literally walk away from everything.

More words. Cold, harsh, sarcastic. As mean as always. Not what Jack wanted to hear. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When Elijah let him go, Jack slowly turned around. “Elijah, I can’t do this on your terms. It has to be on my own. You’ve made it clear time and time again that you want nothing to do with me. I’ve noticed it, I’ve just been too damn stupid to listen. Your terms told me to go away the day I met you, yet I clung to the hope that maybe things could change. Maybe I could convince you otherwise. If that hasn’t happened yet, I don’t know why things would be any different now. I’m already in immense amounts of pain, okay? What you said to me last time…that actually hurt, Elijah. I’ve got the hint by now, so please, just let me walk away.”
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Sat Apr 13, 2013 1:28 pm

Words...words washing over Elijah. It was only fair that they hit him hard...Jack made it quite clear that the younger boy had hurt him with his words. But Jack had turned, and that was what mattered most. There was something there...something the boy knew he had to do, but it scared him. It could mean the end. It could mean the beginning. Above all, Elijah had to figure out the mechanics of the whole thing. Jack was a lot taller than he was, and the boy wasn't sure how to figure out how to orchestrate his plan without it being a miserable failure. Chaos...he could think and act at the same time, could he? It always had always gotten him and out of sticky situations. A matter of stalling. The tears were still falling, but Elijah took a deep breath and managed to speak around them, and the lump in his throat. "Do you really think your mother gave you that amulet for the hell of it?" he asked softly. Reaching up to wrap his arms around Jack's neck, Elijah figured two things. Mechanics be damned, and things weren't so black and white. He could feel it. The end and the beginning.

Pulling Jack closer, Elijah kissed the older boy with all the passion he could muster. Every time his heart hurt when he thought of Jack. The shortness of breath whenever he saw him. The tears at night. Every cruel word, every attempt to keep the older boy away...a kiss that happened out of order, but had happened nonetheless. Everything it set off. Lost time, and passion. More passion than Elijah even thought himself capable of. It felt like a lifetime, but it couldn't have been more than a few moments. Did it matter? Pulling back, eyes still shut, Elijah brushed his lips lightly over Jack's. He was breathing heavily as he let go, tears still falling. The boy didn't even allow himself a second before slapping Jack across the face hard. "Don't you ever say you're no one special! Not ever again!" he shouted, his voice back and filled with passion and anger and pain. "Your terms are moot because you've been hiding the whole time! Jack, for the love of the Gods, put on your damn amulet!"

_________________



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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:26 am

More words, words that Jack didn’t even register, and suddenly Elijah’s lips were on his. Elijah’s lips were kissing him deeply, passionately. Elijah’s lips were capturing his. In any other situation, Jack would have wrapped his arms around the boy’s waist, he would have pulled him closer, he would have returned the kiss with equal passion. But now…with each passing moment, Jack grew more and more confused, more and more hurt. He gently placed his hands on Elijah’s shoulders, gently pushed him away. Elijah pulled back before brushing his lips across Jack’s again. And then suddenly Elijah’s palm was across his face. His cheek was stinging, tears were rolling down his face. Jack blinked, fighting them back, unsure if the tears were from the pain of the slap or the pain of everything else. He lifted his hand to his smarting cheek, rubbing away the pain. And then there were more words. Hurtful words, confusing words. Words Jack didn’t understand. And then a command.

Jack pulled the amulet out of his pocket and blinked at it, thinking, hard. He had never worn the amulet around Elijah because he had thought it was cheating. It didn’t seem fair to wear it. If he could read Elijah’s emotions and Elijah couldn’t read his…for some reason, it had just never seemed right. Besides, Elijah made his feelings clear enough through his words and actions. Clenching the suede cord in his hand, he dropped the amulet to his side. “Why should I put it on?” he asked softly. “It’s not going to change anything. I know how you feel, Elijah. I don’t know what you’re trying to do now. Kissing me…slapping me…If the kiss was good-bye, as fucked up as that would be, I could make myself understand. But I don’t understand now. I don’t understand you slapping me. I don’t under—“ He trailed off, realizing what he was saying. He didn’t understand. Elijah’s words and actions didn’t make sense. The power behind them was a mystery. Elijah had gotten it much sooner than Jack had.

He slipped the amulet around his neck, realizing that if he could sense Elijah’s emotions, he’d understand. As soon as the pendant touched his skin, he stumbled backwards, gasping for breath. The emotions rolling off of the boy were so powerful, so strong, so… Jack had no words for any of it. Elijah’s emotions were a mess, but one shone through so much more strongly than the others. One hit Jack like a brick. He looked up at the boy, his eyes wide, shocked, scared. He gaped for words and finally whispered one short sentence. “All this time?”
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:36 am

This wasn't right. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. Elijah would think a kiss like this would make it pretty damn clear! Hell, it always did in the movies! But Jack wasn't holding him, pulling him tight against him...sure, the boy felt the electricity shooting through his body, and in all fairness, he knew nothing about kissing, but anything with this much passion and emotion behind it had to be right...right? For a moment, Elijah felt nothing but the electricity. And then Jack's hands. On his shoulders. Pushing him away. Away. And everything stopped. Time froze, and although he could feel his lips moving and feel his palm hitting Jack's cheek, the son of Discordia was concentrating more on a memory. Some Saturday, about four years ago. A synagogue he hated...breaking a classmate's nose...trashing the bathroom...an anguished cry as his fist hit the mirror. Seven years of bad luck. Elijah hadn't thought it could get much worse than it was at the time; maybe it did, maybe it didn't. A memory. But this wasn't bad luck. This was the boy unravelling completely. Eyes focusing back on Jack...Jack...the one who stole Elijah's breath away. Messy hair. Scruffy beard. Scar on his left cheekbone. Words...but I don’t want to forget the man that changed me...this wasn't how it was supposed to work. Elijah wasn't the man who had changed him...Elijah was the child who had destroyed him. The amulet...

It was getting harder and harder to breathe right as Jack pulled out the amulet. His hand fell to the side. And words. Each one hitting Elijah harder and harder. "You should put it on because why the hell haven't you been wearing it?!" two sentences mashed together quickly as Jack continued to speak. And Elijah let him. At this point, he really had nothing to lose. It, whatever it was, was gone. Nothing to lose because it was already gone. The boy wished he had something to cling to, fall back against, any kind of physical support...because he was drained. Completely drained. After all the fights he had been in, all the fights he had won, been proud to win. Smirking at his father and Jody after getting expelled. Everyone who had ever hurt him...bringing them down, destroying them. He could feel their eyes on him, laughing at him. Because for every physical fight he had won, it had just been leading up to this, hadn't it? What was Elijah Emmanual? Did he even have a soul? Apparently he had all along. Jack's words were falling...and then a word. Repeated. Understand. Three times. Three and half...because it stopped. Still breathing, but the air didn't feel as heavy anymore. "Just put it on, Jack," Elijah said softly, breathing deeply and wiping away tears. "Three and a half times, you don't understand. Why only a half?"

Everything seemed to go into slow motion as Jack slipped the amulet on. Elijah saw every tiny movement. A quick blink and everything was at a regular speed again. The boy was breathing with much more ease, watching as Jack gasped and fell back. There wasn't anything he could do right then. Wait...just wait. He couldn't blame the older boy for being completely overwhelmed with everything he was probably feeling from Elijah. So many emotions, many that the boy didn't even have a word for. Chaos...so much chaos. Shutting his eyes, Elijah mumbled softly, "Gratias tibi ago." He wasn't sure who was thanking, but Jack's words soon came. Breaking through the wall Elijah had put up like the mirror had broken around his fist four years ago. All this time? Opening his eyes, the boy stared at Jack with a slight smile. "Time…" the boy attempted to laugh, but all that came out was a small snort through his nose. "Son of Venus…I suppose you speak the language of love. Give me an answer that explains an aching heart. Shortness of breath. A tear soaked pillow…and a stolen kiss. Give me an answer and I'll give you all the time you want," and with a deep breath, Elijah took a hesitant step towards Jack. Barely a whisper..."An answer. That's all."

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:35 am

Jack had to resist the urge to sink to the ground. He wished he had something to lean on, something to support him. Venus’ amulet made sure he wasn’t directly affected by the emotions of others, but it didn’t seem to take his own emotions into account. When he was confronted with so many strong emotions, so much chaos, there was no way to avoid feeling overwhelmed. He couldn’t escape the solid cloud that attacked him. He just had to ride it out, try to find a way to cope with everything that was coming at him. He lifted a hand to his neck, tempted to tear the amulet away, but he knew better. He had to leave it. He had to be able to tell what Elijah was thinking, or at least feeling. It was the only way now. Things were confusing enough without getting some sense of what was powering the boy.

There were more words. More words that Jack didn’t fully comprehend. Elijah wanted an answer, an answer that Jack wasn’t entirely sure how to give. Rubbing his temples, he spoke in a strangled voice, “You’ve been pushing me away, Elijah. You’ve been pushing really hard and really frequently. You’ve made it so clear that you don’t want me. But…your emotions tell me you’ve never wanted anything more. I don’t understand it. Why push me away? Why cause us both so much pain? You’ve hurt yourself as much as you have me. What’s the point, Elijah? What’s the logic behind causing so much damage?”
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:26 am

Dizzy...swimming head...so dizzy, and radiating. So badly it hurt...worse than ever before...worse than a stolen kiss...were there people around? was River going to come running any second? How could Elijah explain any of this? No beginning, no end; nothing could possibly be that linear! It didn't make any sense! Such a clear beginning, and this was the end. Dreams, wants, needs, what could have been, what should have been, what the boy had destroyed. "Ego sum monstrum..." Elijah whispered, resisting the urge to fall. Just fall. Curl up in a ball and waste away. How long would that take when time meant nothing? An answer and a question. A riddle! The boy had always liked riddles, no logic behind them. Stand upright, look Jack in the eyes, speak, breathe, a riddle for a riddle. "Logic is lost on me, Jack," Elijah finally said softly. "My mother is the Goddess of chaos and strife. Hurt and damage are my specialties...there's never been anyone, Jack. I'd never had a friend in my life until I came here. I build walls. Walls I hide behind, walls to keep people out. Elaborate walls. Strong walls. Walls to make people fear me...to make sure they stay afraid."

Hanging his head, Elijah took a deep breath. "We can say goodbye on your terms if that's what you want. But I couldn't do it until you know how I felt. You know...and I hope you can see. I'm not the man who changed you. I'm the child who destroyed you," he had to breathe...he had to keep breathing. Keep moving. The hurt would fade eventually; it always did. Life would go on, and Elijah would live it, one minute at a time. Whatever it took. Parting words...diplomatic and dignified parting words. Scared senseless, the boy lifted his head to look at Jack, to look him in the eyes. "Life will continue, won't it? Everything will move as it should. The pain'll fade. You'll forget me...but I'll never forget you. Can you feel that, too? You gave me hope...damnit, Jack! You baked me a cake for my seventeenth birthday! Such an inconsequential year, but you did it anyway! A vegan chocolate cake! Perfectly frosted! Why, Jack? Why the hell would you do that for a seventeenth birthday?! I'm just as confused as you are!" he was shouting. Moving, feeling...feeling more than he'd felt in a long time. Elijah took a deep breath. Diplomatic and dignified. Everything the boy wasn't, and would probably never be. "If you want this to be goodbye...at least let me leave you something. You gave me an impossible riddle...logic. So let me leave you with one too. Jack Wheelan...you didn't steal my first kiss. I gave it to you."

That was it. Elijah didn't understand logic or linear. He'd never get any of that, it just didn't make sense to him. One last moment to look into Jack's eyes. With a defeated nod, the boy tore his gaze, slowly turned, and moved. Away.

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Jack Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:35 am

There were more words. So many words. It was an endless circle of questions, answers, more questions, and never understanding. It was an impossible situation with no right answer. There was no answer that made any sense. How could there be a sensible answer when the question wasn’t even clear? The longer they faced off, the more Jack learned, but the less he actually knew. The more he heard, the less he understood. The more he talked, the less certainty he felt in his own words and actions. Elijah was saying good-bye. He was letting Jack go. He was pushing him away for the final time. He was shouting. He was shouting at Jack, screaming words that stood out. Hope. Confused. Words Jack actually understood. And then words he didn’t. I gave it to you. And then Elijah was turning, walking away, leaving Jack with what he wanted.

Jack’s arm swung out. He captured Elijah’s wrist. He pulled him back. He swung him around. He was kissing him. Kissing him like he’d never kissed before, pouring all his hurt, confusion, and desire into the kiss. His hands cupped Elijah’s face, his eyes closed, and he kissed the boy with all the confused passion he felt. Finally breaking away, his voice hoarse, he murmured, “I still don’t understand, Elijah. I never will. But I understand hope. That’s why, Elijah. That’s why I made you the cake. You gave me hope that I could change. You made me feel like I could prove myself wrong. Like maybe I’m not the dirty, cheating whore I know myself to be. You gave me hope that I could be better than that. When I first met you…that was all I wanted…whore-ish things. But you taught me early that that wasn’t okay. I couldn’t do that to you. You didn’t give in to my whims like the guys I know. You didn’t let me have my way. That surprised me, but it made me feel like maybe I could be better than I was. I wanted to prove that to you as much as I did myself.”

He paused and trailed off for just a moment. “I still don’t understand, but if you feel that strongly towards me…I can’t let you walk away. I’ll work to understand, but I won’t do it by myself.”
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

Post by Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan on Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:24 pm

Could this really be it? Odd...all these months harboring such conflicting feelings...Elijah would have thought goodbye would have brought relief. Peace, perhaps? But all the boy felt as he turned was pain. Something ripped from him...something precious. Such a strange feeling! But Elijah had been wrong to hope...the gut feeling that this was the end and the beginning...it just didn't add up. Maybe he should follow Calix's lead...curl up in bed and sleep away the pain. Eat, occasionally...keep the perfectly frosted vegan chocolate cake on his bedside table and take a bite every now and then. A bite here and then, until it was gone. Symbolic, in a way. It could work, right? Let each bite ebb away the pain of letting go until there were no feelings remaining. No feelings for Jack? No feelings at all? Who the hell knew, and who the hell cared? River would be happy...she had known all along. Elijah figured he had known too; he and Jack just didn't fit. There was nothing about them that made sense. A completely illogical couple...

A completely illogical couple.

Before Elijah could turn, he felt Jack's hand close around his wrist. He was being moved, turned...kissed. Kissed. Any thoughts that may have been forming stopped abruptly as Jack's lips captured Elijah's. Nothing else mattered, because Jack was kissing him and it was right. Instinct...Elijah wrapped his arms tight around Jack and he pulled himself in closer. It was perfect...it was a first kiss. Everything the son of Discordia had known it would be; electricity and passion and hope and promises and more kisses to come. So many more kisses to come! It made no sense at all, which was what made the most sense to Elijah! Jack pulled away...words...words from so deep within. And the boy clung tight...there was absolutely no way he was letting go. Eyes shut, but tears falling anyway, Elijah buried his face in Jack's chest, letting the words wash over him. What could he possibly say that would bring about the end and the beginning? Jack finished speaking...a moment. The end.

The beginning. Arms still wrapped around Jack, Elijah opened his eyes and looked up the older boy. "It's not about understanding anymore, Jack," the boy said softly. "You won't do it by yourself...but if you do it with me, you have to understand that we are a completely illogical couple. And I'm pretty sure that's what really matters," a moment...a moment that became another moment...and the only way to begin...a cycle that started with a kiss. Pulling Jack closer, Elijah kissed him again. Because it made absolutely no sense at all.

_________________



Thank you to all the Hillywood voters...so, so honored! <3
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Characters:
Elijah Emmanual-Wheelan & Devin Casales & Izzy Abney
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Elijah speaks in #78c7c7
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Re: Time to Move On [Elijah, PG-13]

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