Praetor Emmanual? I Need Your Help. [PG-13, Elijah]

Jack pulled a book off the library shelf and almost laughed aloud. Well, it would certainly help with what he wanted, but Latin for Dummies wouldn’t have been his first choice of books to bring over. All the same, maybe it would at least make Elijah laugh. That would be a good start to the meeting. The dance had been an utter disaster. Elijah had spent the whole night trying to avoid him and had essentially told him to go to hell. Really, Jack had just wanted to have some fun and get Elijah to lighten up. The boy was always so stiff. He deserved some time to breathe and have fun. But the stubborn little bugger had done everything in his power to avoid Jack.

Well, Jack certainly wasn’t giving up. He was going to try again and again until Elijah gave in. Jack thought there was more to the boy than he was letting on. He wanted to know what he was hiding and why. That was why Jack was on his way over to the boy’s room. He was going to bang on the door and ask Elijah to help teach him Latin. In all honesty, Jack did want to learn. Everybody said Latin should come naturally to the Romans, but Jack figured there must have been something defective with him. No matter how hard he tried, staring at the Latin words didn’t do anything. He could look at them, he could read them, but they didn’t make any sense. He might as well have tried reading Greek for all the good it did him. Still, he wanted to know. Every now and then, there was a conversation around him in Latin, and it drove him nuts when he didn’t know what was being said.

Book in hand, Jack left the library and headed over to the Principia. He let himself into the building and made his way to the back corner where he knew the door to Elijah’s room stood. Thankfully, no one else was around. That would make it much harder for Elijah to blow him off. Unless, of course, the boy slammed the door in his face. That would be a little difficult to get around. Jack was still going to try, and he was going to do it properly. He knocked hard on the door, calling out, “Praetor Emmanual? It’s Legionnaire Wheelan! I need your help with something.”

It had been a long day. A very long day. Too long, and Elijah really didn't want to deal with anything. Enough had gone on in the Principia that day to drive anyone in their right mind absolutely insane, let alone someone like Elijah who tended to have very little patience and often wished he could solve things a lot more physically. As in the times when the boy zoned out a little and pictured himself hitting some of the more moronic offenders. And although he never would...mainly because he was there to help, not make things worse, Elijah feared that one tiny thing would push him over the edge at this point. Which was why he had retreated to his room in the back of the Principia and taken to what was quickly becoming his new favorite hobby...pacing. Sometimes it was hard to concentrate on reading or writing...or even Latin. Actually, the boy hadn't tried any of that before starting to pace, today. He hadn't even seen a point to trying anything but burning off some steam (and possibly damaging the floor a bit more) by pacing. But with a sigh, Elijah thought that maybe he should actually try to be more productive than angry. More and more, it felt to the son of Discordia that his default setting was 'angry'. Maybe it was time to do something about that. To keep friends, and all. Honestly, Elijah didn't need many, but he had already broken Calix's jaw...most people wouldn't hang around after that. And then of course there was always...

Always things and people Elijah didn't want to think about. Well, mostly people...or one person, really. Sitting heavily on his bed, the boy sighed. It was always the moments like this where he felt his weakest. Moments of quiet when he really felt like he was losing his mind over Jack. It really wasn't fair...the older boy had forced his way into Elijah's life and was slowly taking over. And even though it had been well over a month since Elijah had even spoken to Jack, he saw him everywhere. Outside, at meals...when he shut his eyes at night. It wasn't like Elijah was new to having feelings for someone, it had (quite unbelievably) happened before, but it had never happened like this. Nothing so ridiculously strong...the tightening feeling in his chest when he thought about the son of Venus...the way he felt like he couldn't breathe right when he saw him...and of course, the harder nights (or very early mornings, usually) when Elijah would cry about the whole ordeal. Not like he had cried at first when he felt something had been ripped out of him, but more over the fact that as much as he liked Jack, the two of them could never be together. There was just too much getting in the way, too much wrong with it all. At first Elijah had thought that the older boy was just working some of that Venus love magic on him...trying to play the son of Discordia into his hands. But at this point, that made no sense. The boy knew that somewhere along the way...he had actually developed feelings for Jack.

The worst part was it wasn't exactly something he could really talk about to anyone. Not even River...aside from the fact that his best friend would probably be pretty angry that Elijah had sought Jack's company the second time they had spoken, the boy really didn't think she'd be supportive of...well, Elijah wasn't sure what. It wasn't like the boy was going to seek Jack out again, let alone take any sort of stab at a relationship, but these feelings were...well, the boy knew he shouldn't really be feeling them at all. Not with everything that had happened. That was it...River wouldn't get it. With a deep breath, Elijah shut his eyes for a moment...true to his word, Jack had kept the scar. Let it heal over naturally. Which had only finished recently; that part didn't surprise the boy, after all, the cut had been pretty deep. Probably the sort of cut that would have needed stitches. Elijah had caused ones that didn't look nearly as bad when they happened that had ended up requiring stitches. But maybe that was just because there had been quite a bit of blood. But I don’t want to forget the man that changed me. That was what Jack had said. But really, Elijah wasn't quite sure what that even meant. Aside from the basic idea the older boy had drawn up when the subject had first been broached.

Opening his eyes, Elijah noticed his fists were balled up tight. Tense and ready to strike, like any good fighter. With a deep breath, the boy grabbed a book off his shelf, laying back on his bed and flipping open to his bookmarked page. Fortunately, whatever he had grabbed was in Latin, which Elijah actually felt he had a better grasp on than English at times like this. Unfortunately, nothing was making much sense at the moment. Which really just made the boy feel worse and that he, quite frankly, should have stuck to pacing. Throwing the book to the side, Elijah sat up, getting ready to stand and start burning that path into the floor again when he heard a pointlessly loud knock on the door. Well that was more than a little odd...Calix's knock was nowhere near that loud and hard, and no one else really knocked on the door (River usually just barged in). As he was putting his hand on the doorknob to see what was going on, the person who had knocked called out, making Elijah withdraw his hand quickly as if burned. No...no, he couldn't deal with this right now...if he even tried, Jack would probably end up with a black eye again. Or worse. Petrified for a moment, Elijah stared at the door for a moment before taking a deep breath. "You're a big boy," he mumbled to himself, opening the door a crack and staring up at the older boy. Step one, control breathing. Step two, speak. "I don't know what you could possibly need my help with that would require coming back to my bedroom, but go on, spit it out."

As he waited for Elijah to answer the door, Jack fingered the amulet hanging around his neck. At least, he tried to, but he managed to grasp only air. Right. He had taken it off. The boy had learned pretty quickly that while he was wearing the necklace, he could sense the emotions of everyone around him, but if he simply carried it, it didn’t work. That was a bit of a relief for him. Since receiving it, he liked to have it with him at all times, but there were certain occasions where it felt inappropriate to wear it. This was one such occasion. When he could sense Elijah’s emotions, he felt like he had an unfair advantage over the boy. It just made things more confusing, too. Elijah’s emotions said he felt something for Jack, but his words and actions said something else entirely. It was just hard to decipher.

Jack was tempted to slip the amulet back on, just so he could figure out what kind of reception he’d find. He wasn’t sure if Elijah would be angry, if he’d be frustrated, or if he’d just tell Jack to go away. The boy really wanted to know what he was facing, but he thought better of it. If he was going to do this properly, it would be 100% properly. That meant no feeding off of Elijah’s emotions…at all. Jack held the book loosely at his side, wondering what was taking Elijah so long. Jack had made absolutely sure Elijah would be here. He had checked the third cohort barracks, Elijah’s old home, just in case. Since he wasn’t there, he had peeked in to make sure he wasn’t with River. Elijah wasn’t there, either, so there was only one other place he could be.

Finally, the door swung open just a crack, and Elijah’s face appeared. Jack’s own split into a wide grin at the frankness of the boy’s words. He was tempted to crack a flirty joke about bedrooms, but he thought better of it. Now wasn’t the time for that. He was actually there on official business this time. Grinning wider, he held up the book for Elijah to see. “I’m having a bit of a problem, Praetor Emmanual. Everybody tells me Latin comes naturally to Romans, but I’m not getting it. I think I’m a little defective. Anyway, I was hoping you’d be able to teach me some. After all, you are at the head of the legion. I’ve been told your services are available when one of those under you is having some difficulties."

Knowing Jack was outside his door made it hard for Elijah to breathe right. It also made the boy want to punch something. Or someone. Or pull out his daggers and slash some things...maybe his pillows. Or the walls (would they make him pay for that?). Maybe he could just eliminate this whole dilemma by stabbing Jack in the face. Repeatedly. That would make him go away, right? But Elijah didn't want to make him go away. In fact, he wanted to pull the older boy into his room, throw his arms around him and kiss him. But he couldn't really do that either. Gods! why was this all so complicated? With a deep breath, the son of Discordia tried to push all the weird feelings away by thinking of everything that had happened. What Jack had solicited when they first met...the son of Venus stealing his first kiss...that horrible second meeting by the lake...But I don’t want to forget the man that changed me. No, that wasn't supposed to get in there! Another deep breath, start from the beginning, keep that part out. How in the Gods' names had Elijah changed Jack, anyway? Some angry words...a hard punch in the face...that stuff didn't change people. It made them stay the hell away. Most people in their right minds would have started avoiding Elijah right away. Sure, the boy had been the way to track down Jack that second time, but that was different. That was curiosity. And if he hadn't so stupidly done that, the older boy probably would have stayed away. Making this all Elijah's fault in the first place. "Bracchae," the boy murmured. Pants wasn't much of a swear word, but there wasn't really a word in Latin for the 'f' word. Well, there was, but not in the exclamatory sense. More in the (roughly translated) sense of "to have a connection with a woman". Definitely not what Elijah was looking for.

Although he was very appreciative of the fact that Jack didn't immediately make a 'bedroom' joke (Elijah really shouldn't have even said the word), he still didn't want the older boy to be hanging around. Deciding he wasn't about to give Jack the chance to say anything else, and he'd just slam the door shut in that gorgeous (Elijah, stop thinking like that!) face. But before the boy had the chance to do anything, Jack spoke again. Horrible, horrible things came from the older boy's mouth. First of all, Jack held up a book...Latin for Dummies. "Oh, Gods help us all..." Elijah sighed. Horrible, horrible things that were being said...because the boy knew he couldn't get out of this one. At the head of the legion...I’ve been told your services are available when one of those under you is having some difficulties. True statements that Elijah couldn't deny, which was why they were so horrible! Though the boy wasn't sure his services included teaching Latin to frustratingly awful children of Venus, Elijah couldn't even point Jack in the direction of someone else who could help. Yes, a lot of the Roman demigods spoke Latin, and most of them pretty well, the boy knew he was the only one at camp who knew it fluently. And probably the only one who could also teach it. After all, that was what he wanted to do if he ever left camp...high school Latin teacher. And thinking about it, some of his students would probably be as insufferable as Jack...if his high school Latin classes were anything to go by. So...good practice, and...well...time with Jack. More time to prove to himself that the older boy was an awful person who wasn't worth Elijah's time.

With a sigh, Elijah gave Jack a long glare before shutting the door. The boy took a minute to throw some things into his messenger bag...a couple books of his own, an unused notebook, some pens and pencils...opening the door a crack again, Elijah sighed. Jack was still there. "I'm guessing you're not getting it because you haven't even tried. How recently did you grab that book from the library?" the boy asked dryly. Slipping out his door as best he could without letting Jack see his room, Elijah sighed. "Defective, you say? I'm honestly not sure defective is a strong enough word. Honestly, I think you went a little beyond that point a long time ago. And by 'a little', I mean a lot. Defective would suggest there's some hope, or at least chance of replacement. If you ask me, I can't think of a reason for anyone to even bother," the boy said blandly. He started walking quickly from his room to the main room of the Principia, though Elijah knew Jack wouldn't have a problem keeping up with him. That was a funny thought...Elijah, who had barely made it above five feet, and Jack, who was probably pretty close to six. Elijah was pretty wary of anyone that much taller than him. Though it obviously hadn't mattered when the son of Discordia had hit Jack. And it certainly wouldn't matter if the older boy messed up again and Elijah had to break every one of his limbs. With a soft snort, Elijah smiled slightly. It was a gift (thanks, mom).

Pointing Jack in the direction of a small desk in the corner of the main room, Elijah sighed. "Sit down," he commanded. Watching Jack, the small boy walked around the chair a few times before speaking again. "First of all, I'm not sure this is included in my 'services', so if you annoy me or joke around too much, I will not hesitate to start breaking bones. Secondly, I have absolutely no reason to go easy on you, so if you want a nice, fluffy Latin lesson, you should find someone else," Elijah sighed. Looking at Jack's copy of Latin for Dummies, Elijah sighed. "Put that away, it's not going to help," going into his bag, Elijah pulled out his college standard Latin I textbook and put it down on the desk. "This is what most colleges use for Latin I students, so it's what I'm going to teach you from. Latin for Dummies will teach you the difference between cum and quando...maybe Roman numerals up to one-hundred or so. That's about it. And...I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you can do better than that," pretending not to be attracted to Jack was hard. Glancing at the older boy real quick, Elijah didn't see the charm that Venus had given him...that was a good sign. Elijah could be as attracted as he was, pretend to be a stone, cold jerk...and Jack would be none the wiser. With another sigh, Elijah looked at the cover of the textbook. "So, Jack...let's start with what you do know."

Jack frowned as Elijah shut the door in his face. Well. That was different. He had at least expected Elijah to tell him to go away…probably in less polite terms, too. He hadn’t expected to just be shut out like that. What had he done wrong this time? He had at least tried to be polite and civil! Was that going to count against him now, too? Jack was starting to think he’d never win with Elijah. Maybe it really was time for him to give up, go away, and move on. What had drawn him into Elijah in the first place anyway? Oh, right. It was the boy’s fiery attitude, the way that he didn’t seem to care about anything, the way that he seemed to know just want he wanted and how to go after it. That last part was confusing Jack more and more. Elijah seemed like the kind of guy who knew what he wanted, yet the way they interacted showed the opposite. After their first meeting, Elijah had sought Jack out. He still seemed angry, though. Then again…Jack suddenly realized he was probably confusing Elijah. The son of Discordia kept trying to avoid him, but Jack kept going after him. Maybe that was the problem. Elijah was trying to say what he wanted (“I don’t want anything to do with you!”), but Jack wasn’t listening. Maybe this was the boy’s final declaration.

Jack was about to turn away when the door opened up again. Smiling brightly at Elijah, he shrugged, hardly bothered by the question. “Hey, I’ve tried a little. This stuff is supposed to come naturally. I’ve been listening to the Latin conversations around camp, but I don’t understand a word of it. If it really is natural, shouldn’t I automatically understand that?” He flipped through the book before continuing, “Honestly, I pulled the book from the shelf a few minutes before I came over here. Didn’t want to be completely unprepared now, did I?” He laughed as he loped after Elijah, chuckling at his response. “All right, maybe defective is too loose. But face it, would you really want to replace me? I still have hope with the way I am now.” He grinned, knowing his answer would drive Elijah up a wall, but really, he wanted to have a little fun. He still thought Elijah needed to loosen up a bit.

Jack sat where Elijah told him to, smirking as the boy walked circles around the chair. Did he really not notice what he was doing? Well, there was no way Jack was going to point it out. He didn’t want to lose his entertainment. His eyes followed Elijah, checking out his ass as he moved. Damn… What he wouldn’t do just to be able to touch… He shook his head and bit back his smirk as Elijah stopped in front of him. No way was he giving away that secret. Jack did his best to listen to Elijah as he spoke, trying not to focus on…other things. Leaning forward across the desk, Jack answered softly, “Annoying you seems to be what I do best, love. If you really wanted to break my bones, you would have done so long ago.” He sat back in his chair, smirked again, and tossed his book to the side at Elijah’s command. He raised an eyebrow at the new book in front of him before saying, “Well, I suppose I am college age, so I shouldn’t complain. Teach me, oh master. I think I could tell you the Roman numerals up to forty-nine, but after that, I couldn’t tell you anything.”

As he opened his door to see Jack smiling brightly at him, Elijah's heart started racing and he had to keep his cheeks from flushing. How was it even possible that someone as infuriating (and gorgeous, ever evolving, charming...) could have this kind of effect on the boy? At first, Elijah thought he just wanted Jack to disappear from camp, disappear off the face of the planet for all he cared. But now he had to fight himself not to just throw himself into the older boy's arms and stay there forever. Feelings the boy would have to push aside, would always have to push aside...and hope that someday, someone new would come along that would do the same things to Elijah that Jack did. Should be easy enough...the son of Discordia would meet plenty more men in his life...whatever this was with Jack was just a stupid crush. Someday, someone would come along who would completely knock the boy off his feet. "Keep smiling like that," Elijah said dryly, trying to just shove everything else aside. "It'll make everything sweeter when I crush your spirits with a basic Latin lesson," why was he so mean, anyway? Well, he had always been pretty mean...and almost always for the same reason...to keep people away. What was that saying? Plenty of fish in the sea. The son of Venus certainly wasn't the only one out there, even if, at times, it felt he was. Besides, who would want to meet their soulmate before they even turned seventeen? "Bracchae," Elijah swore softly. Why was he even thinking about this in the first place? Jack was a nuisance who drove Elijah up a wall, right? Right.

Rolling his eyes, Elijah let out an exasperated sigh. "There's a huge difference between something coming naturally and something being natural, genius. Coming naturally implies that you have to try, though it will be easier. Being natural would mean it's already up there. Honestly, I'm not sure you have anything up there," Elijah snorted. "And if you had wanted to be prepared, you should have thought about what you were grabbing or stopped to think that I probably had something," rolling his eyes again, Elijah shook his head. "You really don't have anything up there, do you? I suppose you had to at some point, unless you slept with all your high school teachers to pass. What is it now? Cobwebs? Fluff?" Gods, he had to stop being so mean. At the rate he was going, Elijah would push Jack away entirely any day now. No more anything, be it acceptable meetings at the lake or the son of Venus showing up at his bedroom door. What could be bad about that? Aside from everything. Despite everything, a tiny sliver of Elijah (okay, more like almost ever fiber of his very being) just wanted Jack. That was all. Hold his hand, kiss him gently outside the First Cohort barracks or the Principia, go to sleep with him on his mind, only not in tears about it all like the way it had been. All these nights and hours into the early mornings Elijah had been spending, crying himself to sleep because he just wanted to be with Jack so badly. And in between fits of sobbing, coming up with ridiculous reasons why they could never be together.

At Jack's words, Elijah flushed brightly, glad his back was to the older boy. For a moment, the boy tried to regain some control, not saying anything until he was sure it would be more than a squeak. "Actually, I'd be pretty glad to replace you," Elijah snarled. "Get you out of my hair. Maybe you could go bother someone else for once," harsh words, but the boy couldn't let Jack catch on to his true feelings. "Hiberent, Heliae! Tua haec sunt vera viscera! Ipse est nequam et absolute tanti non in tempore non tuo! Desine, subsisto, subsisto," Elijah muttered to himself under his breath, taking deep breaths. Jack would never know...could never know. Although the boy tried to push Jack away, pretend like he didn't care, didn't want anything to do with him...it pained the son of Discordia so much to think of Jack giving up on him. Gods, Elijah would hide it forever as long as Jack was still there, showing up randomly, chasing him, not giving up on him. But the boy knew it wouldn't be like that. Eventually Jack would meet someone, someone who was good to him, who would treat him well and not be horrible like Elijah was. A guy who would change Jack even more than Elijah had, who would love every bit of him from his stupidly messy hair to the scar on Jack's cheek...perhaps someday, the faceless, nameless guy would ask Jack where that scar had come from. Oh...I came on to some guy and he punched me in the face. Pretty nifty, isn't it? In a roguishly handsome kind of way. And they would laugh about it, and...Elijah almost stopped short, had to force the tears from spilling over. It pained him so much to think of it...but he could never say anything to Jack. "Is iustus non vult operari..." he sniffed softly.

Circling Jack, Elijah took a deep breath. Sure, he had tutored his peers in Latin before, but he had never started from scratch. Another deep breath...it couldn't be that much harder, could it? Too much different? "You're really good at going easy on yourself, aren't you, loverboy?" Elijah sneered. "Annoy me? You infuriate me! And don't you ever, ever, call me 'love' again. Trust me, Jack, I would have broken every bone in your damned body a long time ago if I wasn't a Praetor. I probably would have stabbed you everywhere I could possibly reach if I wasn't a Praetor. Consider yourself very lucky, Legionnaire Wheelan," Elijah snapped. For good measure, he repeated, "And don't you ever, ever, call me 'love' again." With a deep breath, trying to relax himself, Elijah raised his eyebrow. "College aged, yes. Let's see if your brain works beyond a first grade level, though," he sighed. How was it possible that someone who annoyed him this much could also make the boy feel like he actually had a chance at love? A chance at anything, a chance at avoiding loneliness. What was this strange duality that Jack brought about? It didn't make any sense. "I clearly remember learning Roman numerals up to one-hundred by the end of elementary school," Elijah finally sighed. "Where the hell were you?" Breathing...breathing...Elijah felt like his head was spinning. What if the strange duality wasn't just Jack? What if he was a part of it as well? Chaos and love...they were kind of like Ouroboros, weren't they? In a strange way, it actually made a lot of sense...to Elijah, anyway. "Just open to the start of Chapter One," Elijah finally said softly, praying his tone gave nothing away.

Jack opened his mouth to respond to Elijah, but he quickly closed it again. Gods, what had he done to deserve that kind of treatment? Sure, he could be an annoyance, he could be a jerk sometimes, he could be bothersome. He knew that. But he wasn’t that bad…was he? Jack always just thought his actions, mannerisms, and word choices were part of who he was. It was the whole ‘everybody is different and unique’ thing. The whole saying had always felt like utter bullshit, but to a certain extent, it was true. The way Jack acted had never bothered anyone before. If he really thought about it, everybody at home had enjoyed having him around. He was open, he was blunt sometimes, but he was honest. He said what was on his mind, and didn’t try to filter out too much. It kept things interesting for one, and for another, people seemed to appreciate the fact that he didn’t beat around the bush.

Yet…here was Elijah, who clearly wasn’t impressed or happy with Jack’s words. Jack was trying to be light, friendly, and honestly, just be himself. And Elijah twisted everything around, threw it back in his face, and essentially told him he was stupid, useless, worthless, and a waste of space. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t figure out what he had done to deserve that. The boy would never admit it aloud, but Elijah’s words actually hurt. They struck a chord deep within him that hadn’t been touched in a long time. The last time he remembered feeling like this, his father had permanently kicked him out. At least then, Jack had been able to lean on his sister. She had taken him in, given him a place to live, and taken care of him. Now…things were different. What the hell was Jack doing here? Why had he gone searching for Elijah? The boy didn’t want anything to do with him. That was more than obvious now. Jack suddenly wanted nothing more than to run away and not look back. Only…this time, he had nowhere else to go. He had no friends here. Ashley had moved in with her boyfriend. All his friends from home had probably written him off. Where could he possibly go?

Jack sat back in his chair, fighting back tears. He couldn’t show weakness. That would just be more fuel for Elijah’s fire. He reached for the book and slowly cracked the spine, opening up to the first chapter. “My elementary school didn’t teach Roman numerals,” he answered softly. “There weren’t a lot of schools in my neighborhood. The families who could afford it sent their kids to the private school. I ended up at the lower-middle class public school. Back then, I really did try. After that…maybe I didn’t try as hard, but I still never learned much of the Roman numerals. My high school taught French and Spanish. Nothing else.” He fell silent as he traced his fingers over the words on the page. “I’m here because I really do want to learn this, Praetor Emmanual,” he whispered.

Being who he was...how he was...Elijah had figured out a long time ago that regret got you nowhere. The boy wasn't even sure he had 'figured it out'. Perhaps he had never felt regret. So many people hurt, people who didn't matter. It baffled every professional...for someone who appeared to show most symptoms of IED, Elijah missed a big one...showing regret or guilt after a damaging physical action. He was a stone. Not a thing on his face. Who is this kid...what did his parents do wrong...what is this kid...is there really nothing there...is Elijah Emmanual even human? Obviously there was something different, part of the beauty of Camp Jupiter and discovering the truth and all that. Half human...that counted, right? But no one back home knew that. Dad, Jody perhaps...that was it. Either way, nobody knew what Elijah was. Elijah didn't know what Elijah was...until this moment. The boy had never seen himself as the monster everyone else saw him as. Doing what he had to do to survive. Because people hurt the boy. They hurt him, tried to bring him down. So he kept them at arm's length. It didn't matter, once someone saw the real him, they'd run anyway. So Elijah wouldn't let anyone see the real him. People gave up anyway...and the son of Discordia finally saw. He had finally pushed it too far, and the realization was cold and painful. The boy felt a shiver go up his spine. Because how the hell could he have expected Jack to keep trying when he kept pushing the older boy away? Jack had no reason to follow Elijah around until the boy figured out how to tell him the truth. And this was the moment...the moment he had dreaded. Pushed too far...

"A monster..." Elijah mumbled, looking away. "A monster with no soul," words had failed him. Everything had failed him. And the boy just felt...numb. Because this had been his chance. Perhaps his only chance. And he had completely blown it. Blown it doing what he knew how to do best. Hurting people before they hurt him, and that was all it was. "Ouroboros," the boy whispered. It had been wrong to think that they could ever make anything work. Jack had hurt Elijah...badly. So Elijah had hurt the older boy back. But it wasn't an endless cycle anymore. And it hadn't been for a long time. A punch, a scar...physical pain...but Elijah had to keep going. Make sure Jack stayed away by hurting him over, and over again. Psychologically...what did it matter whether it was physical or psychological, though? Words...they could do the same damage as a well placed punch or a broken bone. It was far too easy to see now. An endless cycle that Elijah was in himself. Over and over...and soon there would be nothing else. No one else. "Et ubi sum ego quid agam?" deep breath...a whisper. "Eliyahu cadit in curru igneo ascendit...Ego non perdam? Nihil infinitum est sentire et...ruina. Audis? Reliqua tacet."

A sideways glance as Jack spoke. Elijah couldn't handle any more than that without the very high probability of dissolving in tears. "Nihil. Forsitan ego mos iustus evanescunt..." what remained? Switch to English, finish. A way to wrap it up nicely with a bow. And someday, the pain would fade to nothing. And the monster would find himself alone. Barely even able to hear Jack's words, Elijah stared blankly. "I...uh...think today may actually be a bad day..." quick glance at his watch and an attempt to make his tone less mechanical. "Praetor Kiril has been having a hard time since...since Lúth...all that, and, it's paperwork day. So why don't you just hang on to the book...look through it if you get the chance. Find me when you have some time?" I'm never going to see you again, am I? How was it even possible for it to hurt like this? Over and over...alone and...seeing spots. "I have faith you'll be able to figure it out once you get the hang of it, Legionnaire Wheelan," hopefully that didn't sound as empty as it felt. "It'll come naturally. You won't even need me," Elijah gave a painful smile. Turning on his heel, Elijah slowly walked back towards his room. "Et dimittam erit finis. Diva Latine...Credo tum nihil sum amplius. Adiuro te solum beatus et dabo tibi polliceor."